Here I am , loving work, then getting  overwhelmed by my personal life, feeling contradiction..and then, IT HIT ME. My personal life is "work", as well. In fact, everything I do, is work, everything.

Its when I blank out, that I have lost. Coming home,  turning the tv on, relaxing, wasting life, emailing, is such waste. I want ...<< MORE >>

I do not have much to write, I am spending all my time writing, a really long story. Also, most of the day, I am doing homework. I need to do even more. Homework is something, I need to master, to really get good grades.

I went to job interview, it was too far away. I had to turn ...<< MORE >>

My job interview, this morning, was with a Doctor, who has a nice practice, close to me, ...<< MORE >>

Letting go of attachments, to people, to objects..

I feel good, I do , a little better after writing that story last night. It had a message for me. It did.

People say I am too hard on myself, well, I am, for good reason. For a long time I went against myself, selling out for nothing , for love, ...<< MORE >>

May 1

Ashley remembered her long hair, she was going to brush, until it shines, in the morning. She was waiting for the rain, to come down, so she could reach, into her wooden closet, and take out her pale white slip. It matched her skin, she was so pale. She remembered, she was waiting for someone, to show up ...<< MORE >>

This young, blonde guy, offered to carry my watermelons home, from the supermarket. He was from Paris. I thought, how strange, Paris. He is 24 years old. Alot, of our conversation was ungenuine and fake.  We were both hiding things. Anyways, he told me Americans have two personalities, real puritan ...<< MORE >>

Also when eating mono fruit, it is like I am eating filler. My tastebuds are kind of killed off, eating fruit. Fruit is magic tasting, but there are no salts, spices, syrup sugars, grease, that make cooked food taste good. SO, I am eating to satisfy by body, ...<< MORE >>

Sunday, April 01, 2007 Some photos. I need to start taking my camera with me. I have had very lucid moments. Very still and beautiful. I go to jamba juice to get orange juice. I don't even speak to anyone, I just go in and stand there with my big black sunglasses, and they give me what I need and I give them my Jamba card. I love the warm sun on my arms when I walk there. << MORE >>

What do I think what LOVE IS?

Passion
obsession
dream
paradise
crazy
unconditional love

Love to me goes like this:

1 meet them
2 something happens
3 fall in love
4 everything they do is amazing
5 love the way they look, smell,
6 Count moments to be with them
7 slowly goes downhill
8 something is in the way of things
9 ...<< MORE >>

Eating a big juicy bowl of Papaya squirted with Lime juice

I literally GAVE MYSELF permission to: not listen to myself. Why? because I was talking to myself, and I was being really, really mean . So I decided, I am not good for myself, and have never been. ...<< MORE >>

Dear IAMS

Have you guys completely sold out ??? I just saw this:

http://www.petatv.com/tvpopup/Prefs.asp?video=iams

This video, is this for real?

Feeding dogs lethal food? Cutting CHUNKS from their thighs?
What have you guys turned into?

HELLO WAKE UP AND SEE WHAT OTHERS SEE YOU HAVE DONE!

You ...<< MORE >>

It's a big mistake, a trap to say, I will be happy when I get X ( amount of $) in the bank, because X amount is never enough, when you get there. X amount always changes.

I mean , to be rich, one has to "BE" ...<< MORE >>

Fruitarian Diary

Smoothie with 1/2 a local Papaya, ice/water and honey

Watermelon juice

Guacamole ( Tomatoes, Avocado and Lemon juice/salt) with chopped Kirby Cucumbers wrapped in Romaine leaves.

A frozen raw vegan chocolate macaroon that has been in my freezer 6 months from Pure food and Wine, NYC. See I am not perfect, it was only one.<< MORE >>