Dinner Mashed Avocados with fresh farm Basil and chopped dates and onion and tomato. Simple. Orange juice and banana smoothies with some aloe gel to make frothy.

I bought new bottle of e3. I love myself.

Many thoughts. Need my computer set up at home.

I have a date for shakespeare in the park. Mbh is going with me. I am just going to be myself and love only myself. And he is going to love me. He already loves me. He is lost in a world of fear, so am I. As friends we go. In peace. I really couldn't go alone.

.
I went to spanish mass last night and just meditated. The priest was babling googly doo dippty yas ya hee heeh hee padres hijos EL SENORS blibity-do and I just zoned out. Closed my eyes and felt love and just brilliance. I love getting on my knees and bowing, although I do not believe in any of it. I love incense and candles.. the church in Coral Gables play gregorian chants cd before mass and they have a violin player and piano during their Satuday and Sunday ones... I love it. I go to mass every morning or evening. My time.

Tom Cruise and Katie holmes went to Paris and he engaged. I am dying, dying from the beauty of it, my god if my life was that wonderful! It will be someday. It just has to, I look forward to it so much..


Lunch Lychees

I just had fresh made Organic Orange juice and papaya/pineapple here for 2 dollars taken off my paycheck.

My period looks like rose grape juice. It is so not yukky anymore. i love it. So pretty. I can tell I am going to delete this later.

I sleep at night listening to Urban outfitters cd to benefit tsunami. It is good.

A guy came in and bought all these lychees and mangoes and started flirting with me tremendously with all the " you are the most beautiful girl.. . He gave me a huge Jakfruit. It's like 50 lbs!
I love myself though, I am ok. I think.


june 19

Pretty day, I make myself happy
Last night we saw Shakespeare in the park. Very funny. Taming of the shrew. I love the language especailly when articulated slowly. Love the costumes, the times.

We ate Cherries, raw figs, dried Mulberries and Himalayan mix.

He smuggled in from Ecuador this STRANGE FRUIT..like a passion fruit gourd. He is good. He is my friend.

The Mayor of Miami was there.

We are beauty.

But I love and am happy inside. I love and am forever healed. He will be drawn to the light. I will be drawn to my own.
I heal and love myself

I am a bright light. I feel. i feel love like electric touches.



I wanted to hear the new Interpol song all last night..iloveitsomuch

I wanted to hear the new Interpol CD, he said he taped for me but when I got home I popped the cds on and it was pornos..funny!

I heard Franz Ferdinand..I like into the matinee, my fave song now

I love and am happy.

Running past midnight. Afraid and running away from something..the city.., running thru a green on a golf course with the wet grass, fine and slippery under my feet. Stopping under the stars on the softest spot.

Trying to escape but I have and am free

I want to give you a white flower. You are healed and I love. I

am great

This morning I ate oranges and cherries.

I am sad because I want a home to belong to, a welcome, I want to be welcomed everywhere and loved equally by everyone. I want a good family.

I want attention. I have attention. I am welcomed everywhere.
I want something beautiful to happen to me today.

Mbh said nomatter what I say I just have to accept it, he is gonna change my name for 200$ legally. Beauty. He is not going to disappear but watch over me and guide me.
I want to find peace and see goodness in that.

He says whatever happens let it happen naturally. 


 June 20th
I am so beautiful this morning ,wearing my little sister's shirt that we traded. I bought her an 80's retro t-shirt.

I bought this Urban Decay sampler of all these awesome shadows.

E.U. wrote me such a sad email. She was happy I found the emails. She felt awful.I am glad that horrrible episode is closed forever, Only good things will happen to me now.

Only good things are happening to me.

I bought bottle of e3. It is thawing.

I am reading RAW KIDS.

Good day. I feel great. Love feels really good on raw food. It indeed is Sattvic, or a spiritual diet. One that allows you to commune with the higher, nobler sentiments.

June 21st

Orange Juice Squeezed/

Raw Organic Mint and Manukka Honey Lemonade/

E3 Live/

Organic Bananas that are as big as my hand spread with Raw
Macadamia Nut Butter Scoop

Last night
Mushed Avocado with Lime Juice, Chopped Basil, Org. Raisins, Garlic and Org Tomatoes and Org Bell Peppers.

Listening to Indian Flute and Dead Can Dance at work.

Chased a rabbit that got out of the Animal Sanctuary.

My Beautiful Horse called me at work. He gave me such important life advice..

I feel safe and happy.

For him for pickup :

3lbs fresh Lychees
Dried Blueberries
Dried Mango spears
Empress dates
Dried Cherries no pits
Peaches dried
Mac nuts
Raw Muesli Very berry
Raw
Chickpea Carrot croquettes

I am getting this prepared for him because if I don't he will eat Chef Boyardee straight out of the can cold for lunch everyday and then get sick with "mysterious viruses".

He hasn't eaten meat in a few weeks because I stocked him up on Dried Mulberries, Nut mixes and Temple balls.

He will ignore me when I get depressed or sad, he said, but he will always be around.

A flower .

june 22 2005

This morning smoothie with Aloe

Vera gel/ Orange juice/ Banana

and peeled Kiwi


"Down in the Park, with a

friend called five.."

-Gary Numan / Marilyn Manson

As Goth-y as that sounds : my

night last night.

He taped me ANTICS by

Interpol..My god it is so good..

I love them.



Listen in the car squeezing

Lychees , bursting with

juice all over our fingers. Saying, "yuuummm"




We found a park. We walked.

Hot Miami night. The moon like a

little squashed blue light bug

smothered thru the cloudy skies.


A man made lake with a fountain

in the middle lit up.


Trees dark, ominous,secretive

and full of leaves.


Air heavy, noises of bugs,

Black, moonless and hot.

Mosquitos and grass on the skin.


A bicycle path around the lake

and then the grass around the

water. Kneeling, sitting indian

style, hugging myself and another, like gentle fairies.


Me on my back, on the grass,

staring at the sky. Listening to

Mbh spill his guts. About

everything.


Words of tremendous feeling.

Like waves of thought all

rushing. Like a book.


A human CAN have so many words.

Important things. Old things,

new things, fears and hope.

It was genuine. Honest like

blood, his words. Perceptive it

was.

It was like I was drinking

his soul. Beautiful and true

It was poetry. Rivers of blood

and echoes of human tears.


Real.


It was music for the human soul.

it is what makes us rush with

the feelings inside of goodness

and love.



Before he picked me up he spoke

to my mom which was very nice.

He hasn't seen Diva. She was

probably so happy to feel his

hand petting her little bug eyed

head. She probably peed herself a bit from the excitement.



My days on LJ are numbered. I

can feel it.

I need to protect my self and my

personal life.

But how else am i ever going to

remember the most beautiful days

and nights of my life?

and what I eat..and how I feel..

and my transition..?

Such beautiful things happen to me..I create beautiful days and lovely nights. How will I remember them?


There is a Magazine in Buffalo called The Art Voice. My childhood friend's mom ran the whole thing back when I was there. She was a City Honor's girl. She was a proffesional dancer in elementary school.
Anyways my dad sent me a copy and on the cover is "Que se-raw se-raw" and it is all about the raw food movement.



Lunch..fresh Lychees, fig and some dehydrated raw pate stuffed cherry tomatoes, coconut water