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July 16 2005
Posted by Suvine at Saturday, July 16, 2005 1:38 AM and is filed under uncategorized 
made a cacao smoothie
More Cacao writings!!
I am such a B-A-D GIRL, Cacao! .....On a Friday nght! By myself!!
( I mixed Cacao ground in Vitamix with Blueberries, Bananas, Agave, water and ice)
I don't care, I blast music! lock myself in my room and I DON"T CARE, I just want to write....and write.
I can sleep in until 8 which is like 3 hours more than usual tommorow!
I am the fastest typist that uses two fingers, I am famous in the office!
Faust's Goethe was written on Cacao..
///
Can't you see what you've done to my heart and soul..
so much good, so many beautiful things to explore in each other
I am in love with you
I know who you are
I want to love
You are my IMAGINATION and you are a god.
You are perfect and went to the perfect school.
You like the strangest things like those baby grapes and sharks
You are beautiful and I absorb all of you
I hold you in my mind and it bleeds into my heart
pleasure filling my fingers which I grasp
Yes, I am writing to you.
You alone.
there is only you.
I could sit for hours and tell you so many lovely things, lovely places and settings where we can just sit in the grass and watch the boats go by..
bliss and seagulls, birds and alligators, all here to play with and pet
I love you so much, LIFE is perfect and the dreams of all I am in tune with
Life CAN be exactly what you want it to be. IT IS.
I am taking you into my path, pulling you up
on my wavelength and you will be so happy
you have never seen anything like it, I swear. It is only the best of everything
We all have limits
and when we touch the end of our dreams..what is left?
when you accomplish everything?
Everything you ever imagined?
When you are at the top of the top!!??
What do you do?
I will tell you..
we will lie down and pull petals apart on flowers and let them drop on our faces
It's raining Lilac petals on you now, as you read this, look up
they are falling a-freshing on your face and so sweet a smell
Can you feel it now?
I can. I can feel everything that you are about right now, I am holding you, can you feel it, I am breathing you in
I love the things I feel when I absorb thoughts of you and I feel we can connect on a level beyond comprehension.
It's fair and dear!
Anyways, I am going to have the most beautiful night. I might roll over into the pool. It is so warm and hot outside. The hibiscus, the white flowering trees that white petals fall on you as the wind blows. My chihuahua running and hiding and trying to catch the forever escaping wild parakeets.
I can't stand it, I need to go to Paris!
And next trip will be Iceland for horseback riding. I will go alone. I know a little Icelandic from high school. ( komith ther saelir..- that is not spelled the right way, they use new alphabet letters we never heard of like p's with hooks and backwards e's .
I will meet up with strange Icelandic folk who are the most unique people and the most literate.
I will learn Galdrabok magic of the vikings and take ancient icelandic rune classes...and hear a reading of the first and oldest book ever written
( ever ) called....the Prose Edda ..I think.. or the Saga's of Erik The RED.
I will sit in a hot water spring under a fjord somewhere . Did you know half the year is completely NIGHT all the time..
How unreal is that
and the people are so aryan and white and they all have their father's first name as a last name with
"Son" added (if a boy) or "Dottir" added ( if you are a girl..perfect example, Bjork Gundsmundottir..her dad's first name is GUNDSMUND)
I am going to shut off the computer and dance.
I am going to write a little more....
I love the band interpol so much. They are really dark but I don't care, I love them I need to find a raw boyfriend who has a really dark and moody side who dresses like he's british. Haha
oh my god, my
ex would die of a heart attack!
.
I love that!
I do bury my love around you.
I look forward to not having sex until I am married, with my intensity
I will probably see heaven a million times . I will probably love to tears sometimes. I will never sleep. It's like learning a new language.
Plus I can weed out people who are of a lesser vibration and can't hold on to me.
The reason I want this..is because I want to be in control of myself want to make sure that when I am with someone it really is forever.
I want to be prepared and I want to MAKE what happens...
I will settle for more, I will settle for MORE. I am going to do what I want.
Raw food men have far more patience and integrity..
I want a best friend I love more than anything.
and two best friends falling in love and marrying..that is what I want.
It's a mountain I have to climb. I want to. I want to do it.
July 16
More Cacao writings!!
I am such a B-A-D GIRL, Cacao! .....On a Friday nght! By myself!!
( I mixed Cacao ground in Vitamix with Blueberries, Bananas, Agave, water and ice)
I don't care, I blast music! lock myself in my room and I DON"T CARE, I just want to write....and write.
I can sleep in until 8 which is like 3 hours more than usual tommorow!
I am the fastest typist that uses two fingers, I am famous in the office!
Faust's Goethe was written on Cacao..
///
Can't you see what you've done to my heart and soul..
so much good, so many beautiful things to explore in each other
I am in love with you
I know who you are
I want to love
You are my IMAGINATION and you are a god.
You are perfect and went to the perfect school.
You like the strangest things like those baby grapes and sharks
You are beautiful and I absorb all of you
I hold you in my mind and it bleeds into my heart
pleasure filling my fingers which I grasp
Yes, I am writing to you.
You alone.
there is only you.
I could sit for hours and tell you so many lovely things, lovely places and settings where we can just sit in the grass and watch the boats go by..
bliss and seagulls, birds and alligators, all here to play with and pet
I love you so much, LIFE is perfect and the dreams of all I am in tune with
Life CAN be exactly what you want it to be. IT IS.
I am taking you into my path, pulling you up
on my wavelength and you will be so happy
you have never seen anything like it, I swear. It is only the best of everything
We all have limits
and when we touch the end of our dreams..what is left?
when you accomplish everything?
Everything you ever imagined?
When you are at the top of the top!!??
What do you do?
I will tell you..
we will lie down and pull petals apart on flowers and let them drop on our faces
It's raining Lilac petals on you now, as you read this, look up
they are falling a-freshing on your face and so sweet a smell
Can you feel it now?
I can. I can feel everything that you are about right now, I am holding you, can you feel it, I am breathing you in
I love the things I feel when I absorb thoughts of you and I feel we can connect on a level beyond comprehension.
It's fair and dear!
Anyways, I am going to have the most beautiful night. I might roll over into the pool. It is so warm and hot outside. The hibiscus, the white flowering trees that white petals fall on you as the wind blows. My chihuahua running and hiding and trying to catch the forever escaping wild parakeets.
I can't stand it, I need to go to Paris!
And next trip will be Iceland for horseback riding. I will go alone. I know a little Icelandic from high school. ( komith ther saelir..- that is not spelled the right way, they use new alphabet letters we never heard of like p's with hooks and backwards e's .
I will meet up with strange Icelandic folk who are the most unique people and the most literate.
I will learn Galdrabok magic of the vikings and take ancient icelandic rune classes...and hear a reading of the first and oldest book ever written
( ever ) called....the Prose Edda ..I think.. or the Saga's of Erik The RED.
I will sit in a hot water spring under a fjord somewhere . Did you know half the year is completely NIGHT all the time..
How unreal is that
and the people are so aryan and white and they all have their father's first name as a last name with
"Son" added (if a boy) or "Dottir" added ( if you are a girl..perfect example, Bjork Gundsmundottir..her dad's first name is GUNDSMUND)
I am going to shut off the computer and dance.
I am going to write a little more....
I love the band interpol so much. They are really dark but I don't care, I love them I need to find a raw boyfriend who has a really dark and moody side who dresses like he's british. Haha
oh my god, my
ex would die of a heart attack!
.
I love that!
I do bury my love around you.
I look forward to not having sex until I am married, with my intensity
I will probably see heaven a million times . I will probably love to tears sometimes. I will never sleep. It's like learning a new language.
Plus I can weed out people who are of a lesser vibration and can't hold on to me.
The reason I want this..is because I want to be in control of myself want to make sure that when I am with someone it really is forever.
I want to be prepared and I want to MAKE what happens...
I will settle for more, I will settle for MORE. I am going to do what I want.
Raw food men have far more patience and integrity..
I want a best friend I love more than anything.
and two best friends falling in love and marrying..that is what I want.
It's a mountain I have to climb. I want to. I want to do it.
July 16
Coconut Grove Raw vegan Farmer's Market Raw pie Table
I worked the Raw Vegan farmer's Market.
I was at the Raw pie Table. Mamey, Mango and Kiwi...Papaya and Strawberry , Mushroom Veggie, Carob Cocount Raspberry..etc etc.. there were so many .
I cut slices and put them into containers. $3.75 a piece.
I drank thai Coconut Water, Green juice and I ate a Nori Roll I made ..I made it so big I had to use two nori sheets at the Nori roll table. I had a ton of Blueberries I brought.
I saw a ton of old time raw foodists who pulled out lawn chairs..like white haired senior citizens dressed as if there was a marathon..and women with and hippie dresses.
I saw .Tony . He is the raw food activist on Miami beach. Raw food is his world.
When he stares at me I find myself staring back feeling this enormous suction. Like staring into a mirror, that feeling of it's all there looking back. Haunting. A real Fruitarian Vampire!
I look away, I look back and so is he. At the same time..
I don't know what is there but it is a live wire.
I tried to talk to him but I was so busy and distracted.
he emailed me and asked me if I was going to the Beach Sunday..
If it is sunny tommorow I agreed I will MIGHT meet him on South Beach for my one day off to go suntanning and swimming and we can walk to get sugarcane juice...
I will bring my camera , If I go and take pictures of how truly exotic that beach is and also the people there. I will take pictures of the exotic juices you can get too all fresh squeezed.
I have nothing ELSE to do on my one day off.. I am so happy I am going to get tanned if it doesn't rain..
He is not my type at all romantically, but I can be a good raw food SISTER to him.
Blessing in disguise!
Something really funny happened. I think it is a good thing.
i am not going to the beach with Tony. It doesn't sit right with me and I have to follow my intuition.
I am going to tan by my pool here instead. Maybe I will go to the beach alone, or lie in bed all day and rest.
I have to figure this out because it keeps happening to me.
This is it: a few weeks ago I got asked out to go on a date and I didn't see any harm in it. I went to meet him and 20 minutes before he showed up I wanted to hide. I burst into tears and my mom's friend was like, " No, GO! You NEED to meet people, IT IS GOOD.. and get out..You will have fun!".. so I did and I was so completely not myself. I was so horrified privately about everything. I couldn't say a single word and I said I was really tired and could I please go home and it was really embarrassing!
I can't be his friend other than acquaintance and Glaser Farm's order customer..just having the raw food thing in common does not mean anything.
Call it my gut instinct.
I like myself better now.
This really is a good thing!
I am so glad. It's like premonition or my conscience or guide..
I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER
IT's just like a THING inside me and sometimes it takes its time..maybe it's psychic stuff?
my chihuahua
///
I read "A Study in Feminine psychology", about women and their nerves..by Balzac
I had to stop reading DROLL STORIES, by him too... libertinish
I was going to read James Joyce's THE DEAD ..but.. why would I want to read anything with "the Dead " as its title? I couldn't..
It's not something I am attracted to anymore. I want to read stories of goodness and heroes. The kind that I used to read in Elemnetary school....
As a raw foodist Literature has lost something to me.. French Lit now seems too sinful, viperish, cruel , cold , immoral and scandalous, Russian too harsh, suicidal , prison like and evil, and English way too morose, tragic and rainy with evil characters and affairs, affairs and guilt! American Lit.., no .. I don't want to know what it's like to be in a ghetto , be an alcoholic or junkie,
I want grown up fairy tales.
Goddesses and love.
//
My mom is going to bring me a green juice and oranges to squeeze later.
/
I feel you
I hear you today
I am listening to every word
I absorb only the good people
the best and that way I can really empathize with beauty
Every chance I get I absorb and I will take all the love you give
that way it will multiply.
Today will end up a good day.
I am going to take love from you because it is unending
How is my brother peeling?
I showed my bro the book "How are you peeling?"
and he did his own versions.
Mirrors to his soul!
Like Death bananas
old poems
I am good. I am London
I am the sweetest street with the best after rain DEW
I am a good sign..everything today will be new
Twice I walked thru that pink colored forest
All the leaves, ..there was white pixie live diamond dust
So much of my heart is holding onto my jacket
Yesterday I have beautiful dreams
the really knew everything to do
and I woke up and saw the sky radiant
Names are above me and names are above
I tremble like a children
whose kiss makes me rise up
and my hair is so sincere
My heart is where I am staying
I will learn to grasp at me
I will listen to only the soothing wind
I do grab and I do hear
Love is something that reflects off of me
I feel the stars
into my eyes
how many days to see your hand
Love is the only way
there is love to be made
so just stay here for a while
sounds of your light
how many ways can I see your hand
I will treat me right
there is love to be made
feed me tonight
smooth baby its all a starry night
and our bodies have been left to remain
It a love I have inside myself
and I am in love with myself
should be me
///////
I am beautiful
my eyebrows are high
my cheeks are blushed,
there is brown shadow arounfd my eyes and it is thick
my lashes are long
my lips are perfect
I am traveling whever I want to go
I sign up for Sorbonne
which I might
I have to look into that when I am there.
I have researched it, definitely doable.
I drink juices in south beach juice bars
I have the best friends
I conquer my whole life at the same time
I conquer everything
I master everything I ever was taught
every lesson I was taught I now learned
I now know what to do
it is in me
everything I have ever wanted to be, I am
Come to my door and pick me up and take me to the beach so I can watch the moon in the ocean and lie down with my head under the foam.
My god I am beautiful
but i spent all day, inside watching tv and drinking cacao
crying, laughing and listening to spacemen 3
If I could be on thebeach by a campfire
I would totally dance
Maybe I would have the guts to just kiss someone
I should have gone to south beach
and had a nice burn drinking guarapo
and falling love with all the pretty girls
What hwat can I do.. I cannot go into bars, I cannot go into clubs.. all I can do is dance, dance on the beach
to my bloody valentine
but I am me
and I love me
whatever I do is totally cool
whatever my decsion is, is for the best
I love you too
I HAVE SO MUCH TO LEARN SO MUCH TO ACCOMPLISH OVERCOME FACE AND WIN
I do want to win
I want to win over my entire life
I will win
I promise
It is done
I am superior to circumstance
Surpirse surprise you will come back
you will come back to me over and over and better and better
I will be in love with you until I die and right before I breathe my last breath...
we will get it right
..
You will teach me to share
to give to you and get it back and give some more until we are satisfied with everything
I like to get HOOKED
You are coming over at 8
like you always have
I have all your keepsakes
in bed we will watch each other
until your eyes clothes and the boat sails thru the night
I will sleep
forever I will sleep
until you get up
to go home
and I wake and say goodbye
and pass out again
I turn the switch off time
all of a sudden time is dead
I am going to live here
my door is going to open and you will be there
I don't care if you are butcher
I love you secretly
You always take the time to speak with me
you grow on me
I am holding you, how did I wind up here
with you tonight
In england?
in Liverpool?
the streets are all mud
and it is so grey
and the kids crazy
I have conquered you, i will
I promise
i mean it
It was me
I t was always more
hoping for something else
I worked the Raw Vegan farmer's Market.
I was at the Raw pie Table. Mamey, Mango and Kiwi...Papaya and Strawberry , Mushroom Veggie, Carob Cocount Raspberry..etc etc.. there were so many .
I cut slices and put them into containers. $3.75 a piece.
I drank thai Coconut Water, Green juice and I ate a Nori Roll I made ..I made it so big I had to use two nori sheets at the Nori roll table. I had a ton of Blueberries I brought.
I saw a ton of old time raw foodists who pulled out lawn chairs..like white haired senior citizens dressed as if there was a marathon..and women with and hippie dresses.
I saw .Tony . He is the raw food activist on Miami beach. Raw food is his world.
When he stares at me I find myself staring back feeling this enormous suction. Like staring into a mirror, that feeling of it's all there looking back. Haunting. A real Fruitarian Vampire!
I look away, I look back and so is he. At the same time..
I don't know what is there but it is a live wire.
I tried to talk to him but I was so busy and distracted.
he emailed me and asked me if I was going to the Beach Sunday..
If it is sunny tommorow I agreed I will MIGHT meet him on South Beach for my one day off to go suntanning and swimming and we can walk to get sugarcane juice...
I will bring my camera , If I go and take pictures of how truly exotic that beach is and also the people there. I will take pictures of the exotic juices you can get too all fresh squeezed.
I have nothing ELSE to do on my one day off.. I am so happy I am going to get tanned if it doesn't rain..
He is not my type at all romantically, but I can be a good raw food SISTER to him.
Blessing in disguise!
Something really funny happened. I think it is a good thing.
i am not going to the beach with Tony. It doesn't sit right with me and I have to follow my intuition.
I am going to tan by my pool here instead. Maybe I will go to the beach alone, or lie in bed all day and rest.
I have to figure this out because it keeps happening to me.
This is it: a few weeks ago I got asked out to go on a date and I didn't see any harm in it. I went to meet him and 20 minutes before he showed up I wanted to hide. I burst into tears and my mom's friend was like, " No, GO! You NEED to meet people, IT IS GOOD.. and get out..You will have fun!".. so I did and I was so completely not myself. I was so horrified privately about everything. I couldn't say a single word and I said I was really tired and could I please go home and it was really embarrassing!
I can't be his friend other than acquaintance and Glaser Farm's order customer..just having the raw food thing in common does not mean anything.
Call it my gut instinct.
I like myself better now.
This really is a good thing!
I am so glad. It's like premonition or my conscience or guide..
I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER
IT's just like a THING inside me and sometimes it takes its time..maybe it's psychic stuff?
my chihuahua
///
I read "A Study in Feminine psychology", about women and their nerves..by Balzac
I had to stop reading DROLL STORIES, by him too... libertinish
I was going to read James Joyce's THE DEAD ..but.. why would I want to read anything with "the Dead " as its title? I couldn't..
It's not something I am attracted to anymore. I want to read stories of goodness and heroes. The kind that I used to read in Elemnetary school....
As a raw foodist Literature has lost something to me.. French Lit now seems too sinful, viperish, cruel , cold , immoral and scandalous, Russian too harsh, suicidal , prison like and evil, and English way too morose, tragic and rainy with evil characters and affairs, affairs and guilt! American Lit.., no .. I don't want to know what it's like to be in a ghetto , be an alcoholic or junkie,
I want grown up fairy tales.
Goddesses and love.
//
My mom is going to bring me a green juice and oranges to squeeze later.
/
I feel you
I hear you today
I am listening to every word
I absorb only the good people
the best and that way I can really empathize with beauty
Every chance I get I absorb and I will take all the love you give
that way it will multiply.
Today will end up a good day.
I am going to take love from you because it is unending
How is my brother peeling?
I showed my bro the book "How are you peeling?"
and he did his own versions.
Mirrors to his soul!
Like Death bananas
old poems
I am good. I am London
I am the sweetest street with the best after rain DEW
I am a good sign..everything today will be new
Twice I walked thru that pink colored forest
All the leaves, ..there was white pixie live diamond dust
So much of my heart is holding onto my jacket
Yesterday I have beautiful dreams
the really knew everything to do
and I woke up and saw the sky radiant
Names are above me and names are above
I tremble like a children
whose kiss makes me rise up
and my hair is so sincere
My heart is where I am staying
I will learn to grasp at me
I will listen to only the soothing wind
I do grab and I do hear
Love is something that reflects off of me
I feel the stars
into my eyes
how many days to see your hand
Love is the only way
there is love to be made
so just stay here for a while
sounds of your light
how many ways can I see your hand
I will treat me right
there is love to be made
feed me tonight
smooth baby its all a starry night
and our bodies have been left to remain
It a love I have inside myself
and I am in love with myself
should be me
///////
I am beautiful
my eyebrows are high
my cheeks are blushed,
there is brown shadow arounfd my eyes and it is thick
my lashes are long
my lips are perfect
I am traveling whever I want to go
I sign up for Sorbonne
which I might
I have to look into that when I am there.
I have researched it, definitely doable.
I drink juices in south beach juice bars
I have the best friends
I conquer my whole life at the same time
I conquer everything
I master everything I ever was taught
every lesson I was taught I now learned
I now know what to do
it is in me
everything I have ever wanted to be, I am
Come to my door and pick me up and take me to the beach so I can watch the moon in the ocean and lie down with my head under the foam.
My god I am beautiful
but i spent all day, inside watching tv and drinking cacao
crying, laughing and listening to spacemen 3
If I could be on thebeach by a campfire
I would totally dance
Maybe I would have the guts to just kiss someone
I should have gone to south beach
and had a nice burn drinking guarapo
and falling love with all the pretty girls
What hwat can I do.. I cannot go into bars, I cannot go into clubs.. all I can do is dance, dance on the beach
to my bloody valentine
but I am me
and I love me
whatever I do is totally cool
whatever my decsion is, is for the best
I love you too
I HAVE SO MUCH TO LEARN SO MUCH TO ACCOMPLISH OVERCOME FACE AND WIN
I do want to win
I want to win over my entire life
I will win
I promise
It is done
I am superior to circumstance
Surpirse surprise you will come back
you will come back to me over and over and better and better
I will be in love with you until I die and right before I breathe my last breath...
we will get it right
..
You will teach me to share
to give to you and get it back and give some more until we are satisfied with everything
I like to get HOOKED
You are coming over at 8
like you always have
I have all your keepsakes
in bed we will watch each other
until your eyes clothes and the boat sails thru the night
I will sleep
forever I will sleep
until you get up
to go home
and I wake and say goodbye
and pass out again
I turn the switch off time
all of a sudden time is dead
I am going to live here
my door is going to open and you will be there
I don't care if you are butcher
I love you secretly
You always take the time to speak with me
you grow on me
I am holding you, how did I wind up here
with you tonight
In england?
in Liverpool?
the streets are all mud
and it is so grey
and the kids crazy
I have conquered you, i will
I promise
i mean it
It was me
I t was always more
hoping for something else
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