Let me tell you somehting.

Whatever I ask for I get,whatever,it is a daily fact...



Life is like that...and if you work really hard and get something you want, you have to work to keep it also. I mean appreciate it, otherwise what is the point of any of your dreams if they all become commonplace?

I am going to work on this, I am working on this.

I want a spectacular and extraordinary life and the only way to do that is want what I get.

Also to conquer everything..

I don't have to choose, I can have everything.

I am going to appreciate every little thing.

I want you

I want you and I want to want you every day.


Life has its own surprises I pull on it.

What I want today is different. It feels so good.

I am so gifted to be so blessed with my insight and upbringing
I am learning so much and taking
Overcoming being and taking on all at once
this

All my dreams materialize so fast.

I do want to be married

Something like that I need to deserve and earn. All by myself.
Dream and act.





I need to overcome things and shine lights inside.

I need to over-come EVERY thing, EVERY
LITTLE THING

///

Here is her gorgeous site

http://www.rainbeaumars.com/photogall.html

Rainbeau Mars came in to my work today

I looked right at her and knew her.

I was so excited, I grabbed her and took her on a tour.



She has all these beautiful yoga videos, on the covers of yoga mags

She is on the cover on David Wolfe's Eating for Beauty.

She was the secretary in the People vs. Larry Flynt with Woody Harrelson

Her mom is a raw food cookbook writer named Brigitte

HER MOM




I couldn't believe it when she came and peed right in front of me when I gave her a tour in the jungle.

She said she loves our products.

She invited me to an event she is doing in Miami soon with cacao, yoga and sunshine!

PS
She asked me how I knew here and I didn't want to seem like a geek so I said I knew her from her mom's book, RAWSOME.


My life is so amazing
I love it so much.

I love you
I do I really really do
so much I would give anything to be you





Today was unlike any other day

I had Raw Banana Tiramasu. It was good. I may have some more but I know it will be too heavy.

I also had baby bananas smeared with organic raw cashew and Macadamia nut butter.

I am going to lie out in the sun.

Work is work is work. I love it. Piles of checks. Phone calls from all the raw food shoppes/health stores/wild oats/etc etc


Payments, orders, numbers, questions and farmers walking in and out, pickups, U.p.s., packing, orders for kitchen,
crying girls in spanish over little issues in the kitchen...

Can anybody see me?

There's a moon over here..

Sometimes I just stop and stare at the wall and listen in on the rain pouring or the phone converstaions of my coworkers....................................


I fantasize about being in white sheets with a fan on a tropical paradise ( here) and having a nice nightgown on and there are flowers and a breeze

I drink all the sugarcane juice
I want and then I leave the room...

suddenly.. and I am in Boston at a ballet Class and I am in love with girl before me who is amazing. I turn around and the girl on my other side is even slimmer and prettier and eyes like lions.

When you hang with beautiful girls something happens and you start seeing all this beauty in yourself by osmosis.

IN A TIME BEFORE TIME
THERE WAS ONLY THE SUN
AND I LOVE MYSELF IN WHITE ON STAGE
AS A BALLET PRINCESS WHO
I SEE IN MY MIND
IN THE REFLECTION OF THE SUNLIGHT
OF THE LEAVES OF TREES
UNTIL ALL THE SMURFS IN A LINE
TOLD YOU , DEAR PLEASE LOVE ME FOREVER AND EVER
AND IT'S A WONDEFUL LIFE.


////

I went to 7 pm mass at Lady of Lourdes

I had a very very special time
I took communion
the priest paused after saying that this was the body of christ
and before giving me communion
i think he forgot what he was supposed to do
I was really nervous
I thought it was because I forgot to say amen
I went and drank some wine

I am such a good girl I love it

July 20
This is my last entry.

Surprise sometimes...

I am going to succeed
Everything that I dream about I am going to get
I am going to have more
I am going to have everything
I will have you
I will have me
I will have Paris
I will be in the Eiffel tower with you

This will be my year
It is so amazing so far

I have learned how to overcome everything

I have overcome everything

Everything

I will be in touch

I will dance ballet in Paris with the hottest people

I will eat strange fruit in concrete jungle

I will walk by the river over bridges and stare into the water





This morning, still dark I saw something swimming in the canal
It was a turtle! I was so happy!
Beautiful, the sun wasn't up yet..
Streaming with its back and it's little legs paddling down..

In the morning, I got lost on my way to farm in a rainstorm and I am
hopping over aloes and pineapples. I just want to scream.

Last night I googled my dad and saw he had written a new book on
Business Immigration. I wondered why he stopped emailing me.
Then, as if magic, He sent me an email this morning.
Oh dad,what can I say anymore? I hope you are doing good in Buffalo. I
hope Canada is good to you. Take care and have fun looking at my
photograph every morning on your fridge. I love you and I miss
everything.

Well, he wrote back again

I am no longer reading between the lines! That's it!

I thought about MBh all this morning.

ABout me.

I want to love and overcome all.

It will as it does

I am going to stop writing for a while. Well, I will write on a notepad
everyday but I not post anymore.

I made a Mamey smoothie by blending in the kitchen a mamey and ice water
I want to overcome everything I want in life that I need to.

I need to, I need to accomplish everything.

I have to. I want to. I must. The best is mine already, I just have to
accept it and let it in. That's all...

forever and ever..

I love you

I have always loved you and now I will be with you


I love looking at Raw food Real world..

I tried Glaser Farm's Raw Cashew Herb Pate..with truly raw handshelled
cashews, sprouted sunflower seeds, jalapenos, lemon juice, herbs, ginger

It was good, but I am way past the point I can eat that. It is too
heavy. I think I will juice my greens and for nuts I will eat hemp...and
maybe snack of raw cashews and Macs alone.

A farmer brought me some Mameys and I shared them .

I have you, I do.

always even now
Odji

You won't find fries and a Coke, but a "red drink" made with hibiscus
and cynorrhodon. The delicious salads are made with quinoa, fenel,
pumpkin. A total of 35 different dishes, each one made with organic
products. You go there to eat fast but well, says more...

/////



Raw food cooking class review in Paris

Last Saturday, I took a cooking class on live food at Pousse-Pousse, the little store where I buy my sprouting gear and collect my Campanier baskets.

It was taught by Pol Grégoire, a chef from Belgium. He started out his career in conventional cooking, but then he got interested in what he calls "alimentation vive" ..etc

Pousse-Pousse


Pousse-Pousse is a little jewel-box of a boutique in the 9th arrondissement, nested in the charming Notre-Dame-de-Lorette area. The warm red walls, the huge mirrors, the dramatic crystal chandelier, the golden arcades and the antique Chinese furniture make you feel like you're stepping into the oriental boudoir of some hip duchess.

But Pousse-Pousse is really a place devoted to organic and "live" food, in multiple, inventive and fun ways.

November 2005
some raw recipes
From my notes

Tarts Crust – Golden Flax, nut flour, pecans, zucchini, sun-dried tomatoes, Italian herbs, salt, pepper, poppy seeds
Cheese – Macadamia nuts, pine nuts, lemon, salt, pepper, dill

Fillin' – red bell peppers, olive oil, asparagus Dill Pesto Sunflower Seeds, dill, lemon juice, salt, hing

Aqua Fresca Cucumber, Mint, coconut water

Heading South Jicama Grits Jicama, coconut pulp, coconut oil, slippery elm, nutmeg, salt, pepper

Heading south Greens Asparagus, tomatoes, garden peppers, parsley, salt, pepper, arugala, pine nuts, lemon juice, water, white pepper, salt dill

Girl Scout Cookie (Mylk) Carob, peppermint, pecans, coconut water, salt

Nectar of Generosity Mylk Almonds, coconut milk, salt

Pappadom Phase 2 - Flax, apple, coconut, curry, garam masala, tumeric, salt, lemon, pepper
Phase 1 – Flax, zucchini (shredded), coconut, curry, garam masala, tumeric, salt, lemon, pepper
Spicy chutney Phase 1 – radishes, cucumber, mint, ginger, peppercorns, garam masala, salt, coconut pulp, celery, lemon,

2 - Raisins, Apple, mint, ginger, peppercorns, garam masala, salt, coconut pulp, celery, lemon, Red Pepper Tahini Sesame seeds, red pepper, lemon juice, salt, pepper, ginger juice, cumin, cardamon
Fig wrap Wrap/fruit leather – dehydrated jam Filling – coco pulp, figs, salt, vanilla (soak water)

La Leche Dulse de chocolat Walnut milk, carob, cinnamon, b;ueberries, coconut pulp, mesquite, salt, pumpkin seed oil, raisins, cayenne

Holiday Spice Milk Brazil nuts, nutmeg, cardamom, cinnamon, salt, stevia, cloves

Broccoli Melange Soup Broccoli, asparagus, sesame oil, olive oil, sun-dried tomatos, salt, lemon, hing, thyme, oregano, sage, lemongrass, cumin

Indian Cauliflower (phase 1) Cauliflower, garam masala, salt, coconut pulp, salt, pepper

Berry Wedding Cake OK so of course I didn't measure I just played with it until it was super smooth thick creamy and you will know when it taste rite.

Crust 4c ground flax 4c dried coconut 1/4c coconut oil 1/4c agave Filling 6c coconut meat 2c coconut oil 2-3c macadamias 3 vanilla beans 1 1/5t salt 3/4c agave 1c dried blueberries 1/2c coconut water

Soak blueberries and coconut water, then blend and strain. Blend everything until smooth and thick. Let it set in the freezer for 1-2nights in a spring form pan.

Icing 1c coconut oil 1c macadamias 1vanilla bean ½-1c coconut 1/4c coconut water 1/4c agave pinch of salt Garnish Coconut meat but into flowers or whatever shape you want.

Ice Cream Sandwiches Cookie 4c nut flour 2 flour 3/4c carob 1/2c cacao 4Tmesquite 1c agave 1c coconut oil 2 orange zests

all ingredients, very important to giiv eyou soft silky sandwich dough. Roll between teflex and chill till firm.
9 coconuts 1c coconut water 1/2c macadamias ½-1c agave 2 vanilla beans 1t salt Fennel

Orange Salad 2c fennel sliced thin with a mandalon 3c oranges supremed olive oil salt pepper

Christmas Pumpkin
Crust 2c pecans 2Tagave cinnamon nutmeg salt
Filling 1c macadamias 1c figs 2ccoconut meat 1/2c coconut oil 1/4c agave 2T pumpkin pie spice 1t cinnamon ,nutmeg 1T fresh ginger 1t salt I vanilla bean 4c pumpkin Do crust then filling then vanilla cream on top or agave spiced pecans.
YUm Chocolate pumpkin pie Crust 2cpecans 2T agave 4Tcarob 4Tcacao cinnamon salt Chocolate cream 3/4c macadamias 1 1/2c coconut meat 1/3-1/2c coconut oil 1/5c agave 1/2c figs 1/2c cacao 3T carob 1 vanilla bean salt
Do crust then pumpkin pie filling then chocolate cream. Let it set in the fridge.

Tri Color Fudge Brown Layer 1½ c pumpkin butter (tip off first so not too much oil) ¼ c coconut butter ½ c carob powder 3 T agave nectar 17 drops essential oil of peppermint (to taste)
Melt coconut butter, warm over 78 degrees F. Mix all ingredients in large bowl until smooth and creamy. Place in freezer 20 minutes until firm.
Green Layer 1 ½ c pumpkin butter ½ c coconut butter 4 T agave nectar 17 drops peppermint oil (to taste) Melt coconut butter, warm over 78 degrees F.
Mix all ingredients in large bowl until smooth and creamy. Pour over brown layer. Place in freezer 20 minutes until firm.
White Layer ¾ c ground macadamia nuts ¾ c pine nuts (or substitute mac and pine with 1 ½ c brazil nuts) 2/3 c coconut butter 3 T agave nectar Finely grind mac/pine in food processor.
Mixture becomes oily with a smooth consistency. Mix all ingredients in large bowl until smooth and creamy.
over green layer. Place in freezer 20 minutes until firm. Score into small squares and serve as a tasty treat.





It's like feeling whatever you feel without stopping or control.

I love you, I love you and you, I love all of you and I kiss every single one of you, You are all princesses and the hottest angels..

Your Computer has replaced all your notebooks, all your stamps and all your diaries.

What are you feeling? What are you looking for?
What do you want me to say to you, what is the question?

You forget all your past, it is no longer your past but your future, so THROW IT AWAY!!! You must, that is very important, all your past is a stupid story, it is stupid

Why?
you will never have a future, a real one if you have a past, throw it away!

When a memory comes up, say to yourself, that is not me, who is that? I don't want that, definitely not THAT life!

Let's go dance and lose ourselves in another language and another self. A self we can make up and create..and try to make real, our best fantasy of our ideal self!?

Bring an empty suitcase..you don't need to bring anything old, wherever you go in life.

You are so important, so valuable. Your life means so much to others.

I ask my 4 raw food borrowed books will be sent by mail to my job, this week...also with 200 dollars I trusted out to you with total trust and love, I will be so grateful.

im·mo·late (ĭm'ə-lāt')
tr.v., -lat·ed, -lat·ing, -lates.
To kill as a sacrifice.
To kill (oneself) by fire.
To destroy.
[Latin immolāre, immolāt-, to sacrifice, sprinkle with sacrificial meal : in-, on; see in–2 + mola, meal, millstone.]


Evil Unicorn, my awesome friend again sent me the most beautiful thing, I place it here to save.

Read it tell me it isn't true????

"""""when we feel , passion develops. life becomes a dance of gradual expanding
feeling and identification with the world around us.the delight of running
threw the tall grass , singing in the rain, feeligns grateful to be
alive,loving everyone threw smiles, lauughter, touching, greeting, leading
to an abundance of bliss. our bodies become a resivoir of pleasurable
feelingsinstead ofpain and diprivation.

it is time for us to reclaim our divine power and let go of diets of
violence hatred and fear. with us lives unexplored many alternanate
universes where imperfection does not exsist. let the old patterns of
seperation and control fall away form you. let go of all things which keep
you pinned to the non exsistant future, and enjoy th egifts that the
universe is showering upon us right now. enjoy the love affair of the heart
and not the mind, for it is in FEELING life we gain fulifillment and
satisfaction.

we all dream of happiness and fulfillment, it is time to turn that dream
into reality and experience the happyness and fulfillment which comes from
satisfying our true nature.not what we our told will make us happy, always
leaving us wanting more..

acknowledge the wonder of the world , the magic of being alive, the miracle
of teh moment to moment creation. this is true happyness and fulfillment,
not an empty soap opera that end sin divorce disease and death.

we have the greatest weapons in the world to conteract the maddness , time
and unconditional love. we have the ability to keep opening up to keep
askign for mroe. to accept ourselfs adn those aroudn us with the
unconditional love that when given acceptance comes so natuarlllly..perfect
love does existheaven on earth is real. fear is not.

we are supersensuality, orgasmic by nature, bonded to pleasure, hungry for
passion, beauutiful beyond belief, we are love.lets reveal it."""

///////////////////////////////
I wrote this:



I said to you, let us go into the garden
I need to tell you something
The light under al the green leafed tangelo trees is blue
you glow
you ask me what I want
I say, my how beautiful you are,
I look at your eyes and they radiate this fremen-like blue
They light up and I see the white coolness of your skin radiate.

You hold me for support
It is a new life, unlike any other
I am free from everything
You wait for me to speak
I see everything now, your brown hair that is actually black
your black wool sweater
Your hands which are white and fresh

" Where are we?"
" We are here, in the universe.."
" Do you love me?" I spurt out..
"Yes, with everything.."
" I believe in you, am I real to you?"
" You are more than real, I am you, I breath inside of you"
" Will you, come forth for me...it's powerful that I have you in my life, "
" Yes."

The sun shines in between us, from across your head and blinds me
You walk around and leave , I follow with my eyes. You walk across a stone path.
There are rivers, mirrors of water, puddles and I see my reflection in them
looking back at me,into me
I watch as a red bird watches me and goes from tree limb to tree limb. Flutters!


blueberry smoothie




fridge