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jan 11-15
Watermelon juice, avocados, cherries and bananas , behind is my MONARCHY , GAME OF KINGS card game.
I rode my bike in the dark with no glasses and it felt so good. I like it when it is dark , cool and my heart sings , feels beautiful. This morning I was supposed to take photos all day in the gardens, but I was too sad.
I am too smart for these lies. I am. I can get to the bottom of anything. It’s like I can tell the not only the truth but also now what is going on with him..all in breaths, looks , tones and the voice under the words. I see it, and it is a gift. What this gift actually is, is seeing and being able to see love and truth. It is breathtaking..but I can also see the fear of it too..
And that gives me more confidence than anything because sometimes what I realize is that what is hidden, is hidden because its embarrassing..not because it is special or better, which is a front.
Sometimes it’s just the way words sound when they come out of people’s mouths, also how the energy flows out, if it connects to mine or is broken..if they are trying to convince me of something but fail at it..
Sometimes I have dual conversations , at the same time, like, I will be talking about something else, but thinking and referring to something in my brain, that I want to know, and they might pick up on it, consciously, and answer truthfully , but only in that language..
Like, ok, for example If I want to know something, I will ask a person a question but in my head I will ask another with FEELING of that question ..and I see by their reaction if they can see which question I am asking..they look at me in disbelief and I see color change, look of fright or one of beautiful connection..and I get an answer..plus the feeling. Sometimes they answer in words later on, too.
Trust me, I am not the only one who does this..others do it by default all the time to me. I am not special. I remember my friend a while back gave away the fact that he was reading my emails and was psychically all over the place with it . I picked up on it and we had an under the words conversation about it. Of course never speaking literally of it, once. I changed my password. There were other times and many incidences.
Being fruitarian, ask anyone who is, and they will tell you, it’s on websites too, that you are aware of ‘ psychic like ”abilities, senses sharpened and have a better intuition..so I am not crazy. Also, everybody in the world does this..at some level. I have pretty good acuity but still do not understand it yet. I prefer the innocence of things. I am not a spy or manipulator..
In my last entry, I sounded really bad, but not bad enough to bowdlerize. I have every right to express myself honestly, it is me, I know what I want, and I asked for it..I want to give all of me out , but a responsible me..I sometimes delete whole paragraphs after I publish for the way I feel after the fact.
My rats are both on my bed chilling with me, they are so cool, they just lie under the blankets while I type. I have everything I need. Doing this, they see me as I am part of their pack. yes, a real rat pack..
I feel better now and I am happy. I have the best shoes and that makes me smile. I feel really amazing with perfect shoes, they are like a big happy hug.
I realized I am struggling to be the kind of hot I am not. I am the kind of mousy pretty, I don’t know why I bother dyeing my hair and wearing so much makeup. I am trying to be the American hot, the beach blitz I see everywhere. When I am just like a pretty little girl. I can be a little nerdy, I know so much about French history and literature. I like my animated movies and I like stuffed animals , Eiffel tower sheets and zebra striped blankets.
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All the animals are from photographs I have. I have no idea what they are saying, my body is reeling, times no matter, on my fire, on the playground, love.. I like operating in artist mode. I wish I could talk like this and draw like this all the time. I feel like letting go.
Raw Zucchini Ribbon Spiralized “Pasta” with Avocado/Lemon sauce oh it was good
I threw out my Spiralizer, it makes such shitty pasta out of zucchini. It all fell apart on me, you can see..it cuts so thinly..I think it’s made for carrots. I like the Spirooli.
. The smoothie I had last night and this morning like 5 glasses, some with cherries in it. Very good. Very creamy with soft avocados. I can eat shakes all day and I do.
I got 15 more pounds of FRESH dates from Yuma, AZ, mmm
A fruitarian friend posted this , she is spending time with her man on beaches , eating fresh durian and probably nude sunbathing, nice ..hanging out eating with monkeys..in Australia, she calls it OZ. I wonder why.
http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f360/Fruitarian/P6120457.jpg
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I was walking at night and I thought of him, and a rush of goodness came over me, I felt proud, I know I did the right thing and for once I stood up for me. It was the only thing to do.
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jan 12
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1005653980897954362&q=truth+about+genetically
Very interesting about the future of food ..I would not post this unless it is very good.
I learned alot, like, about how exactly GMO’s are created, and how, is that they take a bacteria that causes tumors in plants.. ( or viruses) and this is the only way to carry the genes to invade the cells.. ( GMO foods are cancer?).
I learned how dangerous it is to grow one crop all uniform . I learned of how other alot of varieties that were around in 1900 are now extinct, also the history of patenting and how it is written in our Constitution not to patent any forms of life for moral reasons… I also learned the reason why companies are fighting so hard against the mandatory labeling act is because they do not want liabilty for harm it can do to individuals….we are talking bacteria and viruses in our plants here..
The man who I am so upset about, says people in Europe do not like gmo’s because they are just jealous of America and want their people to buy their own food. I disagree .
Even Mexico banned those crops, So did Iceland, Indonesia, India, Thailand..um who else?
It’s about the history of people growing food and what they do, and why..and the past and future.. I really had no idea..
I am totally not scared about Monsanto, they can’t last, they JUST can’t.. Monsanto and their weak, poison dependant plants? What are they looking for..pure , strong, Aryan Nazi corn to take over the world? What happens to people like that? They will go down, they have to.. it’s just the natural way of things..
You cannot own all the seeds, or all the food, hold the patent on life , it’s ridiculous…also, look people won’t stand up to this either, not us, not the rest of the world, not with this much bad press already..Bad people always go down..
I just hope it is not us. The USA..Our country created it. All these laws created for Monsanto were voted on, not by the people at all..but by our government and it’s total freedom of power for big companies like that. Why, you ask? It’s because these Big Businesses own and fund our present government..
So basically, noone can stand up to them in court…in our country..in fact there is a long , long list of people in our government , right under the President, that before that , all worked for Monsanto..There is something crazy going on..
Also all these University Professors who found, in research, that GMO crops caused tumors in rats or animals who ate GMO crops unexpectedly dead… were suspended from their jobs…..and others whose studies published, were later retracted..making biology something else.
ALso how these big companies have a scam that is a ”promise to feed the starving world”. If so why the terminator seed technology, or the fact that they own patent on crops and you cannot grow those plants without paying them?
..and what if this terminatotor technology pollutes crops around the world? ( I trust in Nature, these crops will die off so soon).
I never knew the co-owner of the Terminator Gene was, ” The United States Government”. So is that our big plan? To control the world’s food supply? OMG that’s a laugh, it will never happen! It just may be we will have taken too much power and we will be shut down, by others, as always in History.. it’s just the way of things..
I just hope it’s the French who take us over, Oui..
I usually don’t like these scary movies but this one is really educational and not a bunch of vegan hippies..and very very interesting..
One good thing is that like 23 billion dollars was spent on organic food in 2003 and the governmet tried to say ok, the standards need to be lowered to allow Gmos and 275,000 letters were written to the FDA saying HELL NO and to keep it pure. The people prevailed, so even we do not want gmo’s..
The good side will totally win and this will all be wiped out…and the diseased seed will die. The consumer will win.
We don’t want to go there.
you can watch it on google video
here
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1005653980897954362&q=truth+about+genetically
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fruitarian
Today I had a Cherimoya smoothie, 2 guarapos, Mango Salsa, chopped tomatoes, cucumbers and avocados.
That’s me. A photographer stopped to look at my camera and he suggests I go to Palm Beach photo club… and told me a little about my lense. he talked a lot about the heart while you take pictures.
That’s me…above, in a room full of orchids and air plants.
I am having a cherry , banana and passionfruit smoothie. With Ice and water.
Look at these fruit, I saw today, I have had both and they are out of this world. Canistel is mustard colored, durian creamy and eggy textured. Sapodilla is like heaven juicy fruit sweet and the skin dirty, grainy..
Durian tree I saw today in Miami, at Fairchild..a Cacao tree was nearby.. outside of this pavilion too.
This was called the Sun
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Someone convinced me tap water was ok to drink . It’s not and I found this on line to terrify me even more, it rots teeth and bones, flouride..look at these pics:
http://www.fluoridation.com/teeth.htm
I will be doing this tomorrow, but in Miami Beach
I volunteer for Peta, so of course they email me when they are having a Naked Girls against KFC march, protest, and they need three nearly naked girls, with pasties and thong on, to lead the banner.
I sent them my photo and they called me.
By 10:30 tomorrow, I need high heels that are not leather and
I need to bring up a strapless bra in case the pasties do not come..they have a ups problem, and a thong..
I like being naked, why am I nervous, I know I will do fine..I am tractable enough. I can eddy along and do what I am told..
This is what I wanted! This is what I asked for. Last year, I told myself, “I will write animal rights letters until the opportunity comes to protest and then I will do that”.
This is going to be a great first protest. I won’t have my camera, because well, I will be too busy carrying a banner screaming,
”KFC TORTURES CHICKS!!!! ARGGHHH”
(You can read my animal rights letters here http://people.tribe.net/suvine)
So the time has come..oh , I will that the photos they take by the media and if, posted on internet ,are super hot ones of me.
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I am happy tonight, in bed, with my wool blanket I got in Iceland, hey! I am an animal activist..lol, I can’t have wool, those poor Icelandic sheep that get shaved! LOl. seriously.. Things are going to change, I can’t throw my blanket out, I wore it to a cold Sigur Ros concert and the memories are great..it’s a lucky blanket.. but I don’t have to buy any more, ever..
I put my rats in the other room, they ride on the exercise wheel all night. When I take them out I have to put them in the bathroom for a few minutes so they pee and poop and then when they are done I can put them on my bed so they don’t ..
I feel really amazing, I do, I am so lucky, I have such a great feeling. I feel I have been healing, and I have, I have been healing..Things are aligning with good..I have room to want. I focus on what I want..
There is nothing I am supposed to do, only that which I want to do..
I live life that way. I just want and do what I want.
I had watermelon juice all night..Juicy red flesh blended.. I got a lot of bottled water. I have an 8 dollar cherimoya to eat..
I did my hair roots..my hair is brown now, light, light brown, of course it will wash off and I will be blonde again, but at least my roots are nice..It’s beautiful, my hair is gorgeous. Soft too, I think if you wash it twice and good and then condition, it will always be good..
I treat myself the way I want others to treat me. I overflow and give.
It was a success, my first protest, a naked Peta one at that. Well I had on masking tape over my nipples and a cream underwear and I was with two really beautiful young girls.
There were a lot of young girls holding signs, screaming, ” Stop the bloodshed, KFC tortures, chikens! It’s Holocaust for chickens, Boycott KFC!” Right outside the Marriot where they were having a meeting.
MBH was there.
He told me I was beautiful. He took photos of me sitting on a tire right on the beach. It started rainging, rain in my heart, washing and cold..I posed, for him, hard to smile. I was being a good model and swinging and writhing. I lOOVE cameras, I do, I open up..
He convinced me to go to the Beach, I did . But it started pouring , and we went under one of those pastel lifeguard stations you see in postcards..
..just the fact that I love him makes his ego feel good.
The news were there, even Univision. Photographers , too. I will be on two Spanish stations, and all the local stations at 6 and 11pm. I will post photos as soon as I get them. Alot of girls wanted my Myspace address.
I love him and wish him well, I just wish he would leave me alone for good…either that or give me what I want.
In this space without him, there is nothing, but floating good love for myself, I have myself, and it is new and exciting, I am in new territory..a dance alone with myself..a beautiful sexy dance..It’s like, OH THIS IS ME?
Had watermelon juice and a coconut mylk from a special press here on The beach.
Where ever I walk, guys drop what they are doing and stare, even women look at me , in my red dress, sad, big eyed, plus my hair is curled, my lipstick, makeup and eyelashes adorned. I wish someone would give me a hug.
My friend Tony, Narz is supposed to be here with his girlfriend, I hope they call me. If not I will go home and lie in bed . I still feel the lump in my throat. I may have a sad breakdown at home.
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Lincoln mall road, I cheered up, so many guys, just walked up to me, ” I think you are pretty” and then they walked away, they weren’t trying to pick me up.
My energy is that of sad. But I smiled, kind to me, really, I blushed alot.
Everywhere, even in the bathroom line somewhere, ” You are really Pretty” and then they hide.
I walked by a tarot reader, this young runaway or something, ” You look so classy! ” and slow yearning looks..and they blushed. I wish I could give him ten and listen to a reading, or a henna tattoo..but his energy was too dirty for me, he was unclean, yet beautiful inside..
These guys at tables saying things out loud, like just being guys. They were in for a shock when I came over and sat down. I could only take 5 minutes. They looked so shocked I sat down. One had a diamond bracelet, another teeth, so white, they looked as fake as pearls. They started just asking me questions..who wants to be interrogated? I left and one guy was telling his friend, ” I cannot believe you let her go!!” So fake. I wish they had something interesting to tell me, because I am so sad. Plus they had interesting things around the table.
But I am happy here. I saw this roll at Sushi Samba, no rice and no nori, just cucumber slices as the roll and they have one stuffed with avocado, bell pepper, carrots, etc.. I may go and eat that..I see Gazpacho everywhere too, and Mango Gazpacho..
Everyone is so beautiful there, from other countries, tanned and wearing thousand dollar tank tops. . I see a lot of tattoos and alot of shiny jewels.
I cannot believe the difference when I am all done up..maybe its because I am sad, but everybody, everyone, stares and double takes when I walk by. I can’t dress up everyday. I don’t like makeup that much . Maybe it’s my tight long dress and sequined heels.
My heart has a lump in it..I wish I could drink something and be transported to another far away galaxy. Or in someone’s arms crying, telling him I love him so, and really REALLY sad he has to go. But its good, a very good thing for me.
There I am on the right holding the sign..with the green shoes
Thank you, whoever you are who sent me this..
I like my ass here
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/150/358581011_6b43ae5f5d.jpg
Check out this video
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