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feb 1-6
Noon-Salad bar stuff at whole foods. I got shredded squashes, marinated tomatoes, cucumbers, olives, bell peppers, melons etc sprinkled with a little sunflower seeds and wasabi peas.
3pm- snacked on medjool dates
5pm-chopped up some dates, an avocado and a plum on a plate. I made this twice. I was so full.
9pm-Medjool dates
11pm-quarter watermelon with spoon
Work was very smooth today. I felt really good. Laid back. I read my book even./
This evening I spoke to a someone at work. In the business of businesses. Who interviewed 500 women and 500 men and asked them, confidentially , for three things that they want the most. It was a big project to find out about “ what people want to do”.
All the women had variables of three answers :
1 Go shopping on someone else’s credit card
2 hang out ( beach, tropical paradise or just a version of relaxing all day)
3 Party, have fun, drink and dance
The men all had the same variables of:
1 sleeping with women
2 doing it to how many women, what type
3 doing it where and what the fantasy is..
Funny because I was asked ” what three things I want to do the most “, before told this, and I said literally:
1. ” I want to hang out with a man all day, relaxing, beaching and watching tv and do nothing..just go to parties he throws..”
That is funny./
feb 2
2pm Dates
4 pm Chopped: Yellow bell pepper, avocado, tomato, date
6pm big plate of chopped half a large papaya, 1 avocado , dates and blueberries
I got my little friend today so I stayed in and slept in and turned off my phone. I blew off alot of people but everybody forgave me.
I need a swimsuit for the hottub downstairs. That would take care of me.I asked to see if, maybe, they had one at Whole Foods. They seem to have all these hemp clothes there, but they did not have swimsuits.
I got an email from Mbh. He sent me pics of him from last night, hugging John Elway, Lennox Lewis, him in a Rolls Royce, with Scott Pippin, Rush Limbaugh and Hulk Hogan. It is Superbowl in Miami time. All the celebrities and beautiful people, of the entire planet, are there.
I am glad that everything is ok and turning out great. I am pleased with my life and what happens to me. I need to open my heart and trust in good more, and try to let good with in me , just be..free…
I do that by focusing on the best, the good, the nice,the kind and all that is love .
Even when I work or write, or talk on the phone, I am given many opportunities to change someone’s negative into positive. I turn their sentences around. I change people’s own words . I do this so they have hope, see what they want, and align themselves with the best, of their friends and family..
I cannot wait to hit the beach in Miami.
I would tell you all the things people have told me lately, unbelievable compliments, but I keep alot of things to myself. I am quiet about that kind of stuff.
I feel so much has changed in the last few years. Especially with my energy and aura, I attract people because I can connect. Maybe I always was attractive. I just never noticed.
I feel more stronger than ever.
I sense weakness in those I admire, where before, and all my life, I always thought they were better than me. Everybody I think of, as a fine specimen, is as scared , or even more, of me, as I am, of them.
I would like to be a good girl. I would like to keep friends. I would like to be decent. I want to act like a lady. Always. I do. I want to be popular and honest about it. I am genuine/
feb 3
I am roseate and positive tonight.
My beautiful horse just called me to tell me he saw Spike Lee, today in Miami, he shouted out as a joke, ” Look over there! It’s Spike Lee! ” and it really was Spike Lee. He joked around with Spike Lee making him laugh.
He drove all the way to Miami to leave the key in the mailbox..I am so happy. He put a durian in fridge for me. I am eating the durian now, and feel such love from it.
Last week MBH wrote me an email telling me he loved me. I got so many emails from him like that.
I bought him a gift too from Philadelphia. A book by this really successful trial lawyer telling his secrets. Also a stack of photographs of him I developed.
There is nothing like coming back home to Coral Gables, oh, I just love it here. Cats everywhere, one came in my house.
Here are some photos from when I did not keep a journal for a few months, years ago,
raw vegan
Raw vegan food afterglo south beach
/
Mbh and Shaq
mbh and me
making watermlon juice
my puppy 
Raw vegan lasagna I made, for raw potluck,
when I was not writing anymore last year RAW VEGAN
People assume that everything that happens, and everybody I know, I write about in this journal. A huge chunk of my life I leave out. I am friends with famous people I would never write about for privacy sake and have known others for years without mentioning them even once here and are major daily influences in my life. Some of my friends do not know of any others and some only a small bit.
My journal here is just a portion. I have many secrets I am just dying to tell anyone, but I can’t because they are so special .
I went thru a stage with my last journal, I was trying so hard to tell the truth and be open and honest..I did this as an exercise, not because I am a big mouth. I have kept many dramas and friendships secret. It was an exorcism. This is an exercise.
Someday, along time in the future, my writings will have some importance to somebody. maybe I need an expurgated diary because my personal life , is billion times as interesting as the one I write about. I have and know all the details and feelings down. I do not want parts of my life to be moribund.
If i have an expurgated diary it will have to be someplace hidden.
/
I feel so good and so pure..I mean, I feel amazing. I feel so angelic and happy. 
When I feel this good, it is after I feel kind of bad, and while feeling bad, I did not freak out, but instead I let it pass.
I felt real bad earlier, but I realized, this mood, it felt, bad, meaning evil..and I had to stand still and let it pass, and stick with fruit, not binge, and let it purify me.
I got the understanding of what Jesus called evil. Jesus was a healer, by the river who would take sick people and fast them. He healed with this guy John. Anyways, he would fast people until the (d)evil came out of them.
I feel like maybe this happened to me, and everybody else.
I was independant of feeling bad. I mean, it was separate yet part of my whole being, like a bad energy.
Things like this I need to fight, by eating pure..I mean you cannot let a horrendous mood take a hold of you, and start being mean or angry..you have to feel it, be aware that it is independant of you, and not you..
Anything that feels “unfair” or “why” or “man I am angry”, it is not you, it is evil.
People in their natural state are angels and have everything they want, without trying.
It is evil that screws everybody up. We must be angels and not give in to anything that feels ANYTHING like bad.
/
I hate to say this, but you know, we really are what we eat./
feb 4
Blood orange, avocado, dates and blueberry salad
Smoothie with two peaches, raspberries and bananas
Here is my conspectus for the week:
Everything is great on its own. Without any kind of force or pull life is perfect and we have everything we want in any moment.
All I have to do is forget and just be.The way of nature is perfection. It is just the way it is. nature feels good, nature is abundant. That means in nature, we all have what we want. All of us. It’s in us. We need to be happy with our shadow selves, meaning our thoughts.
Our thoughts are our shadow selves, living their own life.
I feel like I am on a journey or a fast. Some days I think this fruit thing , when I do it right, is taking me to the center of human feeling..
I feel the source of life flow thru me. Nature flows thru me, wild , it feels so good.
I think about all the things I have learned and ponder..
Another Peta protest is in Ft. Lauderdale..”I would rather go naked then wear fur..DEMO”. LOL Also leafletting at the Miami Beach Art convention..but it is during my raw food potluck I am going to, this weekend. Miami photography club is the next day too. We are meeting on the beach. Why so much in one weekend.
I wonder if that means something? I do sense something creeping up my legs. Some kind of anticipation.
I am learning, learning how to be the way I would want myself..
I see people here standing, not knowing what to do or where to sit. I am at Barnes and Nobles nursing an OJ from Jamba Juice. I go in there so much its like I work there or something.
My thoughts are alive. My thoughts are the future. I can see my future in what I think about today.
I crave to feel heat and love today. I crave black midnight secret soft kisses. Love as death, love as my cure to everything.
Love is the pill, love is the vaccine.
Love should be taken for granted, instead it is so special and so SACRED.
I have love, I have it, I love it . I am loving as I write this and it is bliss. I guess this is fruitarian fun.
“People like you are the reason people like me need medication.” is on some ladies T shirt in front of me, carrying a child.
People walk in and out..and sit.
I rode my bike and felt so clear, clear and cold. I did not sleep last night at all. From being on an airplane I am a little off. I will sleep soon.
/
I am sitting here at my desk listening to
”Bonnie and Clyde” by Serge Gainsbourg. What a cool song. Bridget Bardot , along with Emmanuel Beart are so freakin hot.
My hair is curled and my makeup is on, I am naked. At my big wooden office desk, MBH got for me at an estate sale ( someone died sale). I have a printer on it, he got that for me too. And I have tape, my ipod, a day to day paper plane making calendar, my dad got me, Also a stand up 2007 calendar I got complimentary from the Ritz in London. There is a painting, against the wall, and a framed photo, too and a stapler. Also a butterfly wood box My beautiful Horse got for me too. There is a pen and ink set on here too..
I got my feet up on the desk. I have on my Swatch cherry ring and a blue beaded bracelet, my dad got for me.
I ordered Tachyon jewelry and more discs for my cell phone and laptop. To protect myself from EMFS. I also ordered a flat bed color scanner, I need for my artwork.
I am listening to music, and it always moves me. If I listen to something I loved a long time ago, well, memories come back. There are songs for every stage of my life.
I would paint , I think I need paintbrushes. I am the type who paints and then is too lazy to clean the brushes out properly , or maybe I do not know how. I soak them in turpentine. I try not to touch that stuff. Anyways I always have to buy new brushes. That has been my excuse.
I know what I want to paint. Two lovers in embrace. Kissing or feeding each other strawberries. I want to just love the canvas, and see what I want in it, like a crystal ball, except I paint the future.
I am going to volunteer at Fairchild Tropical Gardens. I have to meet with this lady after the 8th. How nice is that? They, grow, preserve, talk about and study tropical plants from the entire world..and you should see the fruits!
This morning I spent two hundred something on big big sunglasses.
( At least it wasn’t 500). The biggest I could find. Ala Mary Kate Olsen. I know sunglasses are bad, they block the sun so you don’t get light in your eyes. But I feel like hiding from people alot. I like the privacy, the anonymity. I love them.
For a while I was wondering why it was so dark, I forgot I was wearing them.
I turned down an invitation to a superbowl party last night on south beach. Only guys with girls allowed. If I lived there , maybe, but I am in the gables. My ride was not too dependable.
Tomorrow I have stuff to do plus a book club meeting at Books and Books in the Gables. I can meet writers and be inspired to write a book.
I am reading the study guide to “What the Bleep do we know?”. I am reading out loud so that way I am better with vocabulary. Also I really get what they are writing. Otherwise I skim with my eyes , too fast..
I sit in the bathtub and read out loud until the water is cold.
I put my pet rats in the bathroom so I heard and smelled them. They have the coolest language, my raw foodie rats..They love to eat baby greens. I have mache ( greens) and smoothie, poured in upside down jarcap for them. In their little slots I put dehydrated crackers I make, made from leftover fruit and ground flax, sesame , nuts..with some spirulina and stuff. Sometimes I puts nuts in there. Whatever I eat I give them some, too. They eat anything. They are rats!
I got more photographs in the mail. Printing all the pics on my computer was such a cool idea. I filled up 6 photo albums tonight.
My life is so colorful and beautiful. It is the best I have ever lived in. My life will only get better and prettier.
Today to eat:
12pm OJ Original size at Jamba
2pm plate of chopped Bananas, Mangos, Avocados, Dates, Raspberries
3pm OJ same size
6 pm Large thermos size smoothie, made of 2 Peaches, Bananas, Raspberries and Mango
I feel I am starting to ween off heavy avocados. I am not sure yet. I do know I feel a lot better. Avocados fill me up leaving me satisfied, yet a little slower than if I ate straight sweet fruits. But I still LOVE them…mmmmm
My teeth are getting better, my wisdom teeth are moving in.
Life is good. Excellent. I am doing great.
/
I had a genial time last night. Very nice, Very sweet. There is a lot of love in my room.
I watched this documentary about a savant who was not retarded. A math whiz who could feel numbers. He learned Icelandic in a week.
Have to catch up on all my email missives.
Clean up place, go out and do stuff.
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Tonight I had my eyes photographed. I am having my eyes profiled by Iridology, for free. I won’t know for a few days what it is, but I was told a few things. As you can see I have “lesions”, the holes, especially in the first eye. Their location all means something, possibly organ damage. Also, the rings around my eyes are stress. I am stressed out. Also, in the first eye, I have black lines above from pupil outwards, that has something to do with the brain. But I have very good outer rim. Well, I hope the profile is more positive .
Also I did my astrology chart..I never did it before, most of it was by word but I got it online too.
I was told I need to deal with Anger and that I have the same something as Marlon Brando, and he was an angry man at times.
Raw food my friend at Juliano's makes
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