Florida coconut

I got an insight. I feel free now!!!
ok

It's a big mistake, a trap to say, I will be happy when I get X ( amount of $) in the bank, because X amount is never enough, when you get there. X amount always changes.

I mean , to be rich, one has to "BE" rich. "Being rich", I mean.

First of all, wealth is relative. I am poor next to some and rich compared to others, so it is definitely relative.

Being Rich, without any NEEDING or WANT. Just "being" rich. It's freedom and a sense of completion. The feeling, emotion of Having it All.
 It's a feel of great content.

After all, some people who really do have a lot of money, do not FEEL RICH ever. They feel LACK. They need more.
 And then ..they die. Maybe in their minds they never made it,
made enough.enough.

Its not about the money, its about the work you do.

/
 I am going to start posting Multiple days in one entry so it is easier to read. Maybe three or four days in one posting.

to eat:

9pm Olives and fresh squeezed Grapefruit Juice
Midnight I saw this recipe and had to try it. Its florida avocado and medjool dates blended with water and I had some raw cacao bean ground up, from long ago, so I put some cocao powder in it. It's very  thick, creamy and chocolatey, like a shake. I am a chocolate sinner. I envy people like Dave Klein ( livingnutrition.com) who never ever gets cravings for bad food. I think I need to juice fast for a month to purify myself from my chocolate addiction.  I do not like fasting though. Too much work. Blending straining drinking, Half hour later again and again..or juicing , clean up, juicing, cleanup...agghh then feeling all spacey when music comes on and wanting to love and cry and be with people.

March 23 2007:


I ordered these two books.

"The Grape Cure"
Johanna Brandt
about a woman who cured her cancer by eating just grapes

"Glimpses of Reality"
Benito De Donno who was a fruitarian 16 years

I got in the mail, the juiciest dates from Arizona, they fall apart in my mouth they are so juicy and soft.

I had half Cantaloupe so far and fresh squeezed orange juice.

I am open to the new possibility that I am talented.
/

New website fruitarian for kids

http://www.rawnaturel.com/

I like the MEET THE TEAM section
/

I went and saw The Cure last night. It was fun. I don't think I have ever been closer to Robert Smith in my life. It was a first. All these 7th grade memories came back. He is so awesome. He looked way better than the last time I saw him in concert. He is so silly. He has weird ways of shifting his eyes and smiles alot. Blushes and acts goofy. I was really in it, in front and inside the music. We were surrounded by Cure fans, I felt really alot of love.

Someone gave us their VIP tickets but it was no big deal. We were just on a platform close to the stage. I danced all night.

Dj Tiesto played after him. All this guy does is spin records and the entire park was going crazy. He is very good looking and is the best dj in the world. His image would flash on the screen. He even opened up for the olympics. He would press a few buttons and people would freak out and scream. It was like he was a god. All he was doing was clapping his hands and dj-ing..He had everyone's attention.

It was at the Ultra music festival. I really loved BEING with people. I was crushed by people, surrounded by beauty. Alot of cigarette and pot smoke but it was ok. I even met a real shaman from Columbia. He anointed me with oil and let me hold a crystal for a few minutes. There were cool looking people on stilts. There was fresh fruit stands which was pretty cool. I bought like five packages. I never saw these type of " rave dancing" before. I saw people dancing so cool. There was so much expression. Couples were high on the grass kissing, making out, rubbing each other and playing with glow sticks in front of one another. I was so inspired. There was so much love and friendship. It was all outdoors in a park in downtown Miami so it was beautiful. Different tents with djs and lot of people dressed up crazy.
My friend Eric invited me. He threw a raw food potluck I went to once. He emailed me and said he had an extra 75 dollar ticket, would I come. I said sure. Now it is the next day .

I am dehydrated and need some rest.

/
March 25th

Tonight I went to this outdoor dinner, a fundraiser for 20-30 somethings . "Young Professionals" who donate money and are members of this beautiful place. I won ,in a raffle, a matted poster photograph, of a green and purple leaf, that a photographer donated. The main prize was a trip for two to Costa Rica. They had a band there, of preppy looking guys. Everyone was young, beautiful, and well dressed. I snuck in my mom. She ate jambalaya, cajun fish and okra and tomatoes, these chefs were handing out. They had a "Crawfish boil, too, so everyone had greasy hands and there were shells all over the tables. They had white tables and chairs outside.

I am me, in all my ME. I can never escape, there is no escape, it is never getting better. I will always have this moment over and over again.

My mom cleaned my house and it is spotless. She even got me flowers for my coffee table. It looks like a hotel in my apartment..

march 25th

Grapes for breakfast
I made a smoothie with dates, bananas, jalapeno, lemon juice, passionfruit and Ice/water

Why do I want to be a fruitarian

-I want to say " I hate cooked food" but that is being negative. I made up once, when I was little, that I was a pig and I hate food. It's not me, but me, with garbage inside, I hate. I want to be perfect with food and I want perfect food. I want a positive relationship to food. I want to love food.
-Beauty~ fruitarian diet clears up my skin and make me feel good, 24/7
-Truth~ I am self expressive and feel no blockages. I feel I can be me, Everything is easy to talk about.
-I am forced to accept myself for who I am. When I have a craving for bad food, it is to hide from feeling about  something I need to feel. it could be disgust, shame, guilt, repressed and misplaced anger..all those things I need to face..and there is a gift at the end of the journey. Trust me. The cosmic joke, I will finally "get", after walking through it all.

Has anyone read INTERVIEW WITH A VAMPIRE? Well, we learned how excruciating the transition from human to vampire was. It's not just physical, it's emotional. You go through hell releasing all human emotions and you want to fight it, but you have to let yourself feel it. Feel anguish, torture and pian, and then when you do, you are someone else. You have changed. It's like that transitioning to fruitarianism..

If today I go back, and little by little, start including bad foods, like if I start eating alot of salads with toxic salad dressing, thinking it is ok, I crave more cooked like foods, like raw vegan combo-bombos, I start to get uneasy again, like uneasy. It makes me crave those foods more and more. It's not THAT I WANT SOME COOKED FOOD, No, I think I do..it's really that I DONOT WANT TO FEEL LIKE THIS...and this food will take these emotions and stagnation,  far, far away. But it won't, It will age and destroy everything I  have. Cooked food does, slowly and surely. Look around. People are not what we see on tv. Only models look like people on tv.


Transition is always tough. Some people claim they smell perfumes they once used on the skin during transition and others start hearing music differently.Of course all changes fruitarians have, we become used to and think is normal.


Reward- I believe there are many rewards. I trust in fruit. I do. It is a journey.

Cost- I spend hardly any money on fruit. It is cooked  and raw vegan food and accessories, restaurants, trips, gifts, retreats and clothes, I was weak with. I want to be GOOD with MONEY. Either that, or RICH.