Click
I was at Books and Books, in Coral Gables, a real classy bookstore, tonight for a book reading. They have one everynight practically with authors who tour..
It's a beautiful place with vines and tropical plants. Magazines everywhere with a garden full of hibsicus. I saw a room filled with hor d'oeurves and wine drinkers.

They were having a fancy party inside and outside, under moonlight. Really old and rich looking people acting all exquisite. There was a United Way dinner there and I heard people say things like, " Your community..", " Make a difference". I was not impressed.

( Books and Books Coral Gables, Author Series: Guests in our series have included literary luminaries such as Margaret Atwood, Isabel Allende, Martin Amis, Edwidge Danticat, Richard Ford, Carlos Fuentes, Allen Ginsberg, Jamaica Kincaid, Peter Matthiessen, Frank McCourt, Salman Rushdie, Kurt Vonnegut, and Derek Walcott; children and young adult authors/illustrators such as Eric Carle, Tomie DePaola, Lemony Snicket, Judy Blume, and Chris Raschka; journalists such as Walter Cronkite, Carl Hiaasen, Dave Barry and Jorge Ramos; political figures, such as President Bill Clinton, Senator Hilary Rodham Clinton, President Jimmy Carter, Senator George McGovern and Rudolf Giuliani; cookbook authors such as Anthony Bourdain, Rachael Ray, Jamie Oliver, and Bobby Flay; and celebrities such as Rosie O’Donnell, Isabella Rossellini, Peter Carey, Cindy Crawford, and Mariel Hemingway, to name just a few.)

I just went to a book reading there in the far end of the bookstore, past the elegant cafe. It was standing room only eventually. A reading and signing, about a book, that is about finding purpose, in the other half of life. I don't even want to mention who or what the book was. I wanted to leave so bad after 5 minutes, because the book and the author, were screaming for communism. Praising Social Security and how "old people should not worry about working, which is what everybody wants.. not to work, right?", Speak for yourself, dude!

He then said we should raise families first, retire first, and then go to work later. Like basically everybody do the same thing and he chooses what everybody should do. Total dictatorship ideals. Who makes the rules, the masses? Why does he care what anybody else does or SHOULD do?

Then at the end he and posed the question, if people did work longer, because social security may not be around anymore, we might expect genius and knowledge unparralelled to our history, and how artists like Picasso's most valuable work was created in their 80's. That really inspired me and others. It did because it is true. Baby boomers would flourish, free unearned money, to dumb them.

I did learn about Social Security. The history of it. It does more harm than good I say for sure. Some lady raised her hand about, " Age discrimination and what should be DONE ABOUT IT!!". He said it is a problem that needs rules and regulations. Sigh..more control is what people want? Wow. I was crawling inside waiting for it to be over. My phone went off and this UM teacher next to me said aloud, " How Rude!" I was aching to leave.

On my way out, I saw a book called, " GOD IS NOT GREAT ( How Religion Ruins Everything) and I was like WOOOW!!!. I opened it up and I saw , "..God did not make us, We made God" But I did not have time to read it. I would have loved to meet that author. Real rational people exist. I see the truth lately, everywhere around and it scares me. It was a #1 Bestseller.

 

My platonic friend J called me while in the bookstore. He is the public interest lawyer in London. I went to Las Vegas for his Birthday remember? He took me to see Madame Butterfly at the Kennedy Center in Washington as well, last year. He is coming to Miami to see me, just to hang with me for a few days.  His trial is dragging there. I am so happy. He is a libertarian so I feel right at home. His ideas are my ideas. He will be in paradise, I told him, because that is what Miami is, paradise. I feel our brains together are very mighty.

He is a genius and a true hero lawyer. He protects the individual against man, and the mob, for real, that is what he does. He is fighting against mercury in the Vaccines right now, and he is working on a book that will or is being made into a movie. Finally someone on my level I can talk to about society and philosophy. I invited him to stay with me at my place. 

He is a big man, but around me, he acts like a young little boy, around me, acts so innocent, its refreshing.

He has a friend AnnCoulter, in Washington DC, who is a writer and very prolific. It really inspires me to write even more, knowing women can be really successful at it. I want to ask him all sorts of questions about her. One day I want him to introduce me to Ann. Although I may be intimidated. I have seen her on tv. She is so cool and a real force. I always thought she was beautiful. She earned her fame that is for sure. You can tell she uses her brain and works. so inspiring. What I notice most, isn't what she says, but how she says it, she is very self confident. Watch this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xYcUQiJ3sk





I gave up OJ Fasting. I can't do it now.

To eat today, I was very good and proud of myself.

OJ
OJ
OJ ( you get the picture)
Avocado salad
Cherries, banana and date smoothie

so far but I also have a cherimoya.

I wrote about 3,000 words today. Not much. I need to fine tune my writing schedule. I woke up at noon. Typed til 5. I did to do some real research, and find a law school, to go take notes from, because that is a whole big chapter in my book.

I really enjoy working for myself. I feel my life has led me up to this one moment. This is it. I walk around with this enormous feeling in me, real pride. I mean, I have never felt this kind of pride. It's BIG. It's so great. It's pleasure. I have it in me to do this. It's like no other drug, its better than fruitarianism. It really is, but I could not have this without fruit eating to clear my mind, or the 4 day OJ fast to push me thru to it. It's exhiliarating. I have never ever found the courage to be truly self reliant, ever and now that I am doing it, it's the greatest thing ever.. I feel like I have a purpose, and its just beginning.  Wow, life is finally worth loving. Like I am my boss. I am the judge of my work. And I will pay myself for my work. That is why it is called work. Because I just gotta do it. I am free, free from others if I succeed. That is what I want more than anything.

One thing the author said tonight that was cool, he said, " Jobs today are not big enough for the people in them.." Everyone agreed. Unanimously. We are all capable of so much more.

_________________________________________________________



8-14-2007 entry

I saw this video, I love Interpol. I watched this about 20 times so far, tonight, and watching it again now. It's how I feel tonight.

I Feel Like I Was Hit By a BUS.

 What a great video. The best ever. If I were to die, I would want to die in an Interpol video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZtKsfSvFTQ

Me and MBH, "My Beautfiul Horse", had it out in emails, remember him? About billion emails back and forth. We judged each other harshly and correctly. We smeared mud all over each other and threw shit.
I will leave the contents of the emails private.

There is a lot I never mention in these journals. I know, I need to be as honest, to be a writer and to get to the bottom of my obstacles and weaknesses, I have to write all. How can I write what is right, in my books, if I do not know it, in my personal life, for example. Nothing is ugly when you are a fruitarian, I can admit things. If I had to do certain experiences and failures all over again, I would write down everything. I am a writer. I need to have the life I want my characters to lead, good ones. I have to overcome my own things, and know my own moral code, to what is right and wrong. When you write everything down, you see what you need to do, and overcome, and you know what to do. Life is not about whims, but about a purpose, and following it.

 There is good and evil. You make the list, it is different for each of us. As soon as you do something you consider evil, on your list, like dishonesty, for example, you suffer..as soon as you do the right choices, like honesty, you are rewarded by happiness.

Doing something you consider evil, because of a whim, is immoral.

Anyways, now that I am a writer I do not have a lot to write about in my diary, because I spend all day alone, at a desk.  I sat at desk, wrote 3,500 words. I sat and struggled. I cried. I did. I cried, because when I write it is like a mystery into what makes me tick, and what drives ME, not just my characters. What drives my heroes drives me, what drives the villians, drives me. I hit brick walls when I discover that the blocks in my life, are blocks in my characters as well. I need to think more and think better to figure out what I can do that the characters can have that I can't and why. Maybe I need to acquire courage. Maybe I need to find out who the me inside me is. Maybe I need to be who I want to write about. That is a quest. DOes that make sense? This diary here, is not edited it is all rough draft so my ideas are not always clear. I run on sentences too.

I just got back from a book reading. I took my mom. A guy who writes crime novels. He wrote 6. Kind of famous, in all the pharmacys, you can get his books. I was not impressed. He throws characters up in the air and sees what happens, He has no outline. He used to be a cop reporter so he writes his novels based on his old cases. He is addicted to coffee and writes 8 hours a day every day. I was bored listening to him. He mentioned he started to get bad reviews. Not surprising. He didn't really have anything important to say in his books, just about a cop who tries to figure out murder cases. Solves them. He has a series. He said his first novel won an award, which means nothing really, and it was done in 2 months on a break he had with his job with the newspaper. He shook the entire time. he seemed like he was confused and did not really have his wits about him.

One thing that was funny he said, is that CSI people, sit in dank labs. They do not go to people's houses and interrogate witnesses and are never out in the streets.

I had avocado salad, and my mom had a black bean hummous sandwich. It is rare my mom likes a meal at a restaurant. She loved it. She spent the time, at our dinner, on the phone with my sister, and on the way home too. My sister is coming tomorrow. She is coming from Buffalo, Ny.

I called my friend J, again, in London. I told him he is so smart after he told me who his enemy was. His enemy, is MY enemy.
 Collectivists!

Collectivists are people who form groups and say things like the "good of all, humanity, mankind, community, your brothers and sisters. " They are the devil, I think. Pure evil, is their philosophy in practice. J says he sees it everywhere in Politics in Washington and he has made it his mission to fight them, since college. 

Know your enemy, here are some quotes on who the collectivists are. 

COLLECTIVISM ( your greatest Evil)

"Collectivism means the subjugation of the individual to a group — whether to a race, class or state does not matter. Collectivism holds that man must be chained to collective action and collective thought for the sake of what is called 'the common good'." —

"Collectivism requires self-sacrifice, the subordination of one's interests to those of others." —

"Collectivism, unlike individualism, holds the group as the primary, and the standard of moral value." — Mark Da Cunha HERE

"collectivist ethical principle: man is not an end to himself, but is only a tool to serve the ends of others. Whether those 'others' are a dictator's gang, the nation, society, the race, (the) god(s), the majority, the community, the tribe, etc., is irrelevant — the point is that man in principle must be sacrificed to others." — Mark Da Cunha HERE

"Collectivism is the political theory that states that the will of the people is omnipotent, an individual must obey; that society as a whole, not the individual, is the unit of moral value. ... Collectivism is the application of the altruist ethics to politics." — Dr. Andrew Bernstein, HERE

"The antipode of individualism is collectivism, which subordinates the individual to the group — be it the 'community,' the tribe, the race, the proletariat, etc. A person's moral worth is judged by how much he sacrifices himself to the group. [Under collectivism] the more emergencies (and victims) the better, because they provide more opportunity for 'virtue'." — Glenn Woiceshyn

     "Collectivism often sounds humane because it stresses the importance of human needs. In reality, it is little more than a rationalization for sacrificing you and me to the desires of others." — Jarret B. Wollstein in The Causes of Aggression, HERE

 This has been called 'mob rule,' the 'tyranny of the majority' and many other pejorative names.  It is one of the greatest threats to liberty, the reason why America's founding fathers wrote so much so disparagingly of pure democracy." — Bert Rand
 
    "Collectivism answers: The power of society is unlimited. Society may make any laws it wishes, and force them upon anyone in any manner it wishes." —

 ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

8/16

To eat today:

raw avocado salad and chopped tomatoes
cherries
fresh pressed sugarcane juice
Blended mamey juice
raw avocado salad
smoothie with banana, fresh dates and avocado

I wrote 6 thousand words today, My main hero got a facelift because I wasnt in love with him enough. I was a little bored,but now I love him and want him all to myself, and guess what, he is all to myself. I created him, I am god in my story. I did a whole section on his psychology, in my notes. I know what drives him and I know how he works and his success. I am in love now. He is the greatest, independent hero.

 I have to love my work to do this 12 hours straight at a desk. I have to be in love with my characters and really really hate my villians. They disgust me already. Plus I need over the top drama.

I have always been extreme. Ask anybody who knows me. I won't do, what I dont want to do.  I am gone if I don't like it, and if I love it, I hang on forever. I am all or nothing.

Mbh used to tell me that I want "everything", and he gets frustrated because he is not like that, he is middle of the road in everything, average, does all "in moderation"...how can you stand to be like that?

 I want to do what I want to do always. It doesnt matter what you think, unless you agree with me.

I do not want to just survive working for others, I want to thrive working for myself. Which means I need to work harder than ever. But it's not really work, because it's well creation.

I want to write all the time. I want to produce something valuable. Not just a story. Something I want to create will have to feel Important and brain moving. My brain bettering story.

I am not writing about things , normal everyday things. But themes that move me violently. Although I come from Naturalist schooling, I want to change to Romanticism. I could make this passionate story, yet with attention to details, like the style  Naturalism has.

I grew up with that philosophy, and I fight it in everyline I write, because it was my first reading writing style for many years as a young adult.. I grew up with a very low level belief in man's potential. Now I definitely believe in superhuman ideals, but I love the attention to everyday details naturalism has..

If anybody does not know what naturalism philosophy is here,

Naturalism is a movement in theater, film, and literature that seeks to replicate a - believable everyday reality-, as opposed to such movements as Romanticism , in which subjects may receive highly idealistic treatment. In Naturalism, characters do not have free will; external and internal forces, environment, or heredity control their behavior.

I want to write a story using Romantism which is a literary style, it is this

Romanticism is this:

Romanticists saw passion in all life,.. life as a struggle, not just to survive, but to overcome.  As such, it could be called instinct; but in humanity, it goes further, and involves an overcoming of nature itself. They have a passionate morality. A purpose. The romantics tend to admire the heroic, taking a stand against nature, against the mediocre, against nothingness against meaningless.

I mean really you pick, which is better?

I am going to make Man as a hero, but not to others, but to only himself. And I will discover many things myself in the writing. Shit I can't believe I am doing this. So awesome.

Lately my blog has skyrocketed in readers.

/

 I just saw there is a new weight loss patch. hahaha. that is funny. Eat all the Burger King you want, just wear this patch and you will lose weight. And they show this model. I mean, what fun is it to be skinny if you are in uncomfort because of starvation. You need a patch right?

Skinny For what? Why?  Unless you are paid to be a model, being skinny really doesn't get you anything. You want a man? a man that likes skinny women, for what? You can sleep with him even if you are chubby, men won't say no to you. Are you kidding? You want a rich boyfriend? For what? So you can parasite on him? Nothing is for free, you will hate yourself as a slave. And so will he. Earn wealth yourself.

You want to be loved? Loved for what? Loved, for weight loss by a patch?

I can't imagine the motivation.

/

Fast food is like the lowest and dirtiest sex. When you are done you are disgusted with yourself.

/

On my good and evil chart, fast food is evil.

/