108lbs today. Wow if I make it to 100, the last time I
weighed that much was when I was 10 years old. My Ph
 strip was yellow, the most acidic. I get the impression
after 8 days of water fasting your body breaks down the
 bad stuff like scar tissue. Hopefully it will be sooner.
Fasting, um, it's not that much fun!!

They say you can't work while fasting with water, POOEY,
 I feel better when at work than when I am lying around
in bed. If I feel weak, I drink water and the energy comes
right back to me.

When cold, I go into the kitchen and get hot water from
 the coffee maker side. People walk around with bagels
and coffee. I think how can you eat that everyday and
not feel, well, stagnant. I mean, the body takes a long
 time digesting that, real work. That itself will make your
hair gray, lol. One must get angry easily and get impatient
 and be manic, either that or disgusted with how the body
 feels and is.

I am wearing a brown wool pant suit today 2petite. I fit in
it. SO is that my size now? It looks nice. I want Brooks
Brothers suits but they are like 200-$ to 400-$. I want
cashmere turtlenecks with pearls. Not vegan, I forget
these things.

My mom is so nice, she bought it but I have to pay her
 back next month. She brought me a watermelon, I
have to give away, to someone. I can't eat it. I am fasting.

This morning I just got up and brushed my hair and curled
it. No shower. I still have the essence of last night on me. 
I look good. SOmetimes when I shower in the morning and
blowdry its not as poofy as when I sleep in it and wake up
with soft big hair.

I feel so good right now. Work will go by real fast and
 I will get so much done and impress my boss. One isn't
worth anything without the work he does. I am nothing
around here unless I do a great job. Work is all that
counts and how one is judged and worth.


READ THIS, its so interesting
Dr Brass

THAT IS SO FASCINATING, BUT I WAS RESEARCHING
THE 'BLENDED SALAD" YOU GET ALL THE GOOD STUFF
 ASSIMILATED INTO YOU, LIKE ITS DIGESTED FOR YOU
 BY BLENDING.

blended salad

Day 7 of just water, nothing
else.
Hello. I rode my bike and felt beautiful. I felt so clean
and the air felt so pure to breathe.

Last night K came over and shut my bedroom door, I
heard her laughing over the tv or the cell phone. She
has extempore whims and will show up whenever she
 wants. She has a lot of friends. I lay in bed and slept.
When I was hot I got up and got bottled water then felt
refreshed and able to sleep. No dreams.

I imagine eating stuff like this.


Yummy, 50 cents each ot the farmer's market. You are\
supposed to eat Starfruit when it is bright orange like \
this and it is sooo sweet. Beach food for sure.

Hey how many photos can I post on one entry without them
 not loading or just going blank? If anyone can't see any
 photos just right click and click properties, the url should
 \be there.

I love photos, I took some today of a guy cutting down
coconuts.

Mbh did that for me, cut down tons of coocnuts, I used to
have a living room stacked, and florida coocnut meats are
like Thai meat, jelly and semi thick, but not sweet.Mbh
gave me the most, noone gave me more than he has. All the
stuff was so great , I am very grateful, like I said, the best
memories of my life.



These flowers are everywhere, in Paraguay when I was
little I watched hummingbrids suck nectar out of these.


I think these are called Hallaconia. We had them in our
 \yard when we lived on Alcazar.


Baby papayas



Cool Orb on Miami beach by Jackie Gleason theatre.
Wanna push it?


me, looking like a fairy, I brightened it with contrast
 to give it a spooky look

I gave that dress away, I can't wear empire cut anymore,
makes me look pregnant and fat in the hips, it  just falls
that way.

I like these flamingos. They are everywere.
 

Yes today is my 7th day waterfasting. No detox symptoms
yet. My ph test was most acidic and I weighed 108 lbs,
same as yesterday.

I showered this morning, very slowly, everything I do is
 very slow. It takes a long time to do anything. My breathing
is slow. My mouth is pastey. Anyways, after showering,
shaving my pits, shampooing and conditioner, I never use
 soap, I just wash everywhere with water. Maybe soap to
shave legs or belly.  Then I put mousse in my hair and blew
dried upside down, curled it and then put on green eyeshadow
and green liner, put on hemp balm and then with nude lipliner
drew outside my top lip a little and around my lips.  I put on
blush with a pad and lots of eyelashes. I put on a white
buttoned down shirt and an orange skirt that is asymetrical.

All seems copacetic, meaning very good. My life is good at this moment. I feel happy. I know why.

What kind of fruit is this


TV head


couple reading on the beach



Me with mangos


DAY 8 WATERFASTING


Yesterday was difficult. I almost broke my fast. I had a
hysterical scheduler on my right and my boss above me
freaking out,
 looking to point

fingers at why all the work I did last week was not saved. 
Last week 50 files disappeared from Time Matters and of
course I was blamed. Then

they found out it wasn't me, and the Time Matters people
found the files they went somewhere. Our system is scary.
Every week there is a

breakdown. I am told to call the computer tech, every
15 minutes until they answer by my boss. Very stressful.
So I got hysterical people all

over me, I started not being able to breathe and woah, my head...stress is damaging and destructive. I want to earn
 respect and do a good job.

My boss every day is bitching and it's hard to take.
" but this only happens to your stuff"..well that is
because I am the only one who does the

paperwork. The other girl is part time phones, the other
 one drives around talking spanish, and the scheduler does appointments. I had a hard

day. He tells me he is my mentor and he has more
experience than I in life. He is always right.

Today I will have a graceful day as usual. I love working.

Then MBh found me this place, across from golf course,
 with pool, large 1 bedroom, clean, tiled floors, airy and
 cheaper that the David William

or my place now. It was so nice. I am so happy.

Then my landlord found out I did not pay this months
rent and he is harrassing me, I got phone calls all late
last night and now at work. I just

can't talk to him about it now. I told him I will be out by
 the end of the month. If he takes me to court, fine. Mbh
 gave me the best legal advice.

The lawyers I work with gave me the wrong advice. They
 told me my landlord can lock my doors and kick me out
and suggested I move

everything out yesterday, when MBH heard this he laughed.

I slept so well, my friend K  called me at midnight. Wants to
 know if I saw something on tv.

One thing I noticed fasting, is I see lights colors clearer. No
 miracles yet. I talk ALOT and tell random people the truth.
 I open up about my life

at work. In the mirror I look hot, I actually have no makeup
 on today and I look PRETTY. My hair is curled with mousse
 ala Veronica Lake. I am

wearing a long black velvet coat over a dress with collars
sticking out.

It was raining this morning so a coworker picked me up in
the morning with a huge gmc truck. I was impressed. Sleeping
 with the rain was

beautiful.

Valentine's day, the day to ponder love. What is it but a
 command to be the highest one can be? It's the highest
expression of human values.

Our own. Our reflection of what is the absolute best in each
 of us.

Day 8 fasting 107 lbs and acidic ph. It seemed a little darker
 today.

My coworker is going to eat tomorrow at the Blue Door at the
Delano Hotel On South Beach.

People at work eat ice cream. One lady eats salad and
shares, another brings fried chicken and they share
another woman brings slices of

leather and some rice and they share. And they talk so
\loud in the kitchen about their families. They drink\
 pepsi, the fridge is alwasy stacked

with free cans, and the company always orders danishes
and muffins.. coffee thermoses, the super kind are always
 full. When are they going to

order nice stuff? I watch what people eat all the time, little
tupperware filled with stuff they microwave. Am I alien or
 are they?


Day 9
No food.
Just water.


Wow hard to believe. My body felt softer yesterday where
 the scar tissue was and I heard pops or air bubbles. My
face looks flawless. I am skinny 106 lbs.


Yesterday was the hardest. Nausea and dizziness.  Dealing with landlords is hard. I got a Notice to Quit on my door. I told him
I will be out by the end of the month and he can keep my
last and security. Hurtful old man. He ignored me when I
told him my sink is leaking. I had to pour bleach on it to
get the black mold off. I had no hot water for 4 days, bugs
all summer and him walking in and asking me to fly to
China or Jamaica with him and he would arrange it. Eww.

So I was really really down yesterday and my stomach
 burned. Taking hot baths with lukewarm water is no fun,
after he changed the heater,  I hate that place. I see snail
trails on my carpet.

I am wearing a new black dress today long sleeved. My
coworker called me to tell me what her boyfriend had
done for her and her daughter. Stupid balloons and cards.

I craved cacao last night, still am. I was on that stuff for
 many months as raw vegan non stop. As fasts. Maybe I
 am detoxing it? Who knows.

Yes just water, hot water. I am freezing everywear I go,
 I have to wear a wool pullover MBH got me, wool keeps
 me warm, not vegan but I am cold.

It rained yesterday. I paid some bills. Walked around.
Got a few texts from people I would rather not get texts from. lol

I want to hot tub and be warm.

As soon as this scar tissue is gone, I will drink guarapo.
 I wil drink watermelon juice. Coconut mylk. Loads of
grapes, berries, avocados, persimmons and smoothies.

I want to be happy. I want my life to be filled with things
 I give myself. I want to give myself things



.

I got a Durian delivered to me at work. Somebody
remembered Valentine's day. I am so happy. It is
what I love. Nobody
 knows I love Durian,

nobody. I live in a world that does not know me, and
one person does.  No man I meet will do the things
 he has. Durian is so pretty. I want to

defrost it and stick my hands into it.

My boss today took me in the office for 2 hours. We
 chatted back and forth. He is a great teacher, family
guy and business owner but lately

things have gotten crazy. Nitpicking and insults. I
confronted him, not as an employee but as an equal.
  He admitted he was domineering, in

the non-leader way. What it boiled down to was I \
need to listen. You see, my mind races so fast. He
wants someone to listen to everything he

say with no interruptions. I can do that. But it is hard.
 I want to be a good listener. It drives him crazy. He
asked me if I loved him, joking of

course, I said yes. I am so glad we get along again.
 I can be very sarcastic and the things I say, are
 absolutely correct and I am very intelligent,

I impress myself.. But its no place for boss to assistant communication. "breaking his chops" he calls it. I
need to just listen and act. I asked

him if he ever heard, " Nobody listens, they never
 have and never will"..listening is harder than it seems.

There is so much I am responsible for. Every single
 file, I have to remember what happens to it and we
 have wall to wall files all around a very

large room. And my mind, only remembers the
 emergencies. Like for example I have to put L's
 nest to files in Litigation and suffixes on the end

of files who we are suing, and I have to pencil in
 the Demand file it used to be and then when I
calculate the filing fees I have to put the old

file number and stupid little details and that isn;t to
mention the actual work. The labels, the copies, and
remembering what was done and then

filing them in court...and picking up and then when
 returned its another process.

Back to Durian. Yummy. Yummy that is the only
valentines gift I could want. Who else would know that?

Black dress I have on today. All girls in the office busting
out with cleavage and red dresses. Very amative mood.
 everyone
 is happy. Even me,

with my Durian. And lukewarm bath and LOST and
 Lipstick Jungle.

It's funny. I am always dealing with people. Every
friend I have tells me I am wrong about this, or that,
Or I need to fast on juice, or I need to not fast or I
need to believe in god, or why I am numbing myself,
 or I need to see truth as it what anybody says it is
( idiot), or this or that. "You need to.." or just telling
me my choices are wrong. 

Why can't I meet someone who knows what I know and
 accepts what I accept. Why can't my friends accept me.
 At work they do. Noone tells me to lay off the water.
 
DO I do this too? I used to. I should never give anyone
advice to anyone. It means nothing. Unless they come
 to me, I will let them live in what I consider foolishness.
 I want to earn friendship, earn love and earn everything
I want from people..



Day 10 just water

Feeling a little ennui today. 10 day waterfasting and no
sign of my internal scar tissue gone. It feels softer.
I have scars on my inner leg that are smooth, but that is just interpretation, can't be proved. How come I read all
these books of people curing tumors with fasting and
I can't get rid of scar tissue from a surgery? What do
I need to do? Go back to Doctors? I thought the body
 heals itself? Hmmp
It's not fun just water 10 days. no. Plus I have to work
in Law office with input everywhere, occasional\
emergencies. I am surprised everyone take my water
fasting as no big deal. Do they know I lost 15 lbs in
10 days? My mouth is coated as I talk to my boss,
 I feel myself breathing heavily as he explains that I
need to be in charge of everything and know everything
 at all times. And to make lists. Things I know by heart.
I feel myself get dried up and have to run to get hot water.

I am 105lbs today, and for a petite model, for my height
 5'3 you have to be under that. Imagine that, and me, I
only eat raw fruits and veggies normally. I feel for them.

Ok I should be happy and positive. I read all these fasting
blogs and everyone feels love and magic. I don't. I feel
tingles all over my body and back, and its hard to breathe and move.  One girl said she feels she can read minds fasting.
I used to be irrational like that. Thank god not anymore,
what a difference, I feel grounded and real now. She
"feels" she can read minds but most positively cannot
prove it. feelings are never accurate tests of facts or
what is real. Only reality is, and reality can be proven by
 \each one of us. Not withheld from us, but shown and proven.

I do look good though at this weight. Enjoy it while I can.
 Maybe I will post pictures of my flat stomach.

I have to go to the bank today, and post office. I need my check to move out, they said by Friday I should have it. I crave fruit.

I dont care about anyone thinking anything of me, I want
to go back to fruitarian. Its all I crave. A salad now would
make me barf. Maybe I didn't do it well enough, maybe
 I failed because I didn't eat enough. Mono I need to try.
I miss it. I love my fruitarian penpals. They are the
sweetest people. One girl, fasted on water 20 days just
 for fun and she didn't
 really lose weight. Wow that is a healthy body. She did all fruit for 40 years, and I still call her a girl. She looks like one. photos are never accurate anyways, I am sure her energy in person is beautiful.

I got one email today. And its the Word of the day ENNUI.

When I was talking to my bos for two hours yesterday, I just couldnt shut up, my nose was runny, water was coming out my nose.. It was cause I didn't have my every 1/2 hour water, and I started sneezing, until I drank water again and was ok. He goes, " got a cold? I don't want it". I promised him he would not get a cold.

I mentioned his alcoholism. I did. lol. He drinks everyday, WHISKEY. Probably at home. I also mentioned his partner is a slob and he agreed. I told him he was the opposite.

Jlawyer did not call me on Valentine's day. It just goes to show, how unstable new relationships are, if they are that. He wanted me to work for his firm too he told me. I am not criticizing, he can do what he wants. I just am noticing what IS. I like being rational. It makes everything so clear as day.

I just want what I have. I have everything. I already have something. I want to eat fruit, I want to succeed. I want to make money. I want to TRY not to use people to get places or as ends ( to my means)

Mango the fruitarian has a blog and he writes alot, then he asks people to mail money because he does not work, and I don't think ever has. I read his blog. My opinion is why would anyone want to do what, well, a beggar does. He is homeless right? Fine do what he wants. It just struck me as odd that he is promoting fruitarianism as the formula to be a better person, and he can't take care of himself.

I wouldn't listen to a beggar on the street, imagine if that beggar on the street had a blog? I would not read it.

I know it is hard. Hard to work, pay rent, actually do what you say you are going to do. Fruitarianism really REALLY brings out the best in people. I never achieved more, even when doing irrational bad things I was a success. Now I know the right track. I KNOW it, and need to DO it.

but I just want to say anybody can be a fruitarian, its not just for beach squatters. And no offense. I love his websites, his honesty, but I take it all with a grain of salt because of his situation. I just think he is better than that. I do not want to cause fruitarian wars, trust me there are some, I just want to stand up for the best in people and its time to be the best we can. I want to see people succeed, not just survive.

/