Celings like this are nice, There was a hole in this ceiling though


In the next photo, of this set,  the wind blew that fountain of water right on my head .
Too embarrassing to show but a classic to keep. I was soaked. And I got the photo.

Moi


Today I am drinking two quarts of thai coconut water, guacamango for breakfast

 I had a half gallon of oj and
just starting to feel normal again.


These people asked what was I taking photos for I said OCEAN DRIVE
 MAGAZINE and he almost had a heart attack and screamed. LOL good joke!



Fountain under the moon



I do not know what this guy is doing



I love this walk here


I wonder what this thing is for dinner parties?




I had so much fun it was really pretty











People, I saw all different types. 

Clean looking old men with white suits on. 

I saw two playboy looking girls with large breasts.
 
Others held hands with
skinny boned women, anorexic like children.

Lots of pretty women in gowns,
young and old with really successful men.. 

There were mostly boring looking young engaged
professional couples dressed up though.


men and women walking though the gardens kissing
I saw alot of that

There was an art auction inside. I wanted this glass elephant so bad
 but the beginning bid was too high for me.









I watched some people ballroom dancing to Hot stuff by Donna Summer.


The moon in the woods, I love woods, that is what I think all houses should have.


I need to take a digital photography class I love photography sooo much


This looks quiet


Entrance or the exit


I was shy most of the night sitting on  the water, playing with ducks when I got
 up my bag fell in the water, its actually a lunch bag, I kept my camera in it
 
because it is soft and squishy. My dad gave it to me for christmas though,

BYE BYE




Women looked like that once?


I rolled out of bed with makeup from the night before.
I ate the guacamole with a fork. No salt, like I like it.

I ran halfway aound the golf course last night,
I touched the watertower and then got winded down
Columbus, and walked down the nice side of Coral Way.
 I saw some finely landscaped mansions that were killer.
 
Also the trees were like angry giants under the moonlight.

I got some guarapo at La Caretta. I tried to sleep, listening
 to classical music, and stared at my ceiling fan until 2 am.
I ate some sapodillas and pine nuts. I talked on the phone.

I missed a 5 k race this morning I had planned on going to.
 I could not wake up.
I only have this problem when drinking those  chocolate drinks,
but
 existence sure is fun on them.

Every morning at work the new girl, she is so cute, she goes,

 "Can we make that drink?" so innocently,  and then EVERY GIRL follows
 her and me
in the kitchen.

I dosage out teaspoons of raw cacaeo powder
 into styrofoam cups for all and then they add sugar.


Too much fun, on the other side of office, the other girls watch youtube
episodes of Moment of Truth show. I hear laughter.
then I say " what happened?"   and when the boss comes over.
 I have to yell out a code word.

Its called office politics and just
working that is 3/4ths of the job.
Any body will tell you that part of working in office is you have to be
 on a team and sometimes
that means lower your standards alot.

My poor boss shows up with his turtlenecks and cashmere sweaters and
moccassins disoriented all the time. He is always giving friends of his
and other lawyers
grand tours and then disappears all day in his office.
I over hear his conversations on the phone of where he
 is going to lunch and sometimes
I see him sitting at a sidewalk cafe looking like he came
out of a sterile cave made
of Mercedes leather. What is he thinking about?

I know he made us write up a note in spanish for the cleaning
people so they don'tforce
 the arms of his new chair under his desk.

All I want to eat today is watermelon, Orange juice and some berries, starfruit.







March 23rd

EASTER
The end of March already. My body felt good today. I woke up radiant.
 Covered in happiness. Slept on my couch, Makeup smeared. I walked to get OJ.


Everything was closed, even Publix. People getting their peace on in church today.
How else is Easter celebrated?
 
A long time ago it was a pagan holiday. Cities across Europe whipped naked women on horses
on this holiday.

It used to be a fertility holiday (9 months later is Christmas)

and that
is why the egg is symbolized and also rabbits, because rabbits mate the most and  give birth to large litters


It means other things to other religions as well.
 

Attis, Jesus, Horus, Dionysis, and many others "sons of god" were all raised from the dead after being dead for three days. ( The Sun apparently comes to a halt for three days and then reverses its direction.)


"This is why Jesus and numerous other Sun Gods share the crucifixion, 3-day death 
 and resurrection concept at exactly this time.


However, they did not celebrate the resurrection of the Sun until the spring equinox,
 or Easter.

This is because at the spring equinox, the Sun officially overpowers the darkness,
 as daytime thereafter becomes longer in duration than night,

( when we turn our clocks ahead) "

The name "Easter" originated with the names of an ancient Goddess. Easter was named after Eostre (a.k.a. Eastre). She was the Great Mother Goddess of the Saxon people who came out as Spring. People believed in her like they believe in Virgin Mary today. 
"Easter: The English term,  relates to Eostre, a Teutonic goddess of the rising light
 of day and spring...."


Many Many , probably all religions, including ours, celebrate Easter. 

some .." used the symbols of eggs, which they worshiped as a miraculous source of life; rabbits, as the most rapidly procreating domestic animal; and lit fires in order to bake cakes in sacrifice to the "queen of heaven" (Semiramis), the "Diana of the Ephesians," who was viewed as the goddess of sex and fertility. 

Just like we do today. But for Jesus. It sounds cultish, all these goddesses, and religions, but its no more or no different than Christianity myths, and that is what it is, guys, MYTHS,  today.
 

But what can be proved, is that around Easter is the
 Vernal Equinox. Days become Longer. Something happens with the sun.

Easter is  "Pa-Khonsu" in Egyptian, "Khonsu" being an epithet for the sun god Horus, who was crucified, resurrected  three days later as well.

That is pretty much all religions always. Crucifixion, Death and resurrection of the many  sun gods.

which included crucifixion, resurrection, and salvation. Some examples include:

•Adonis (pre-2000 BC): Virgin birth (by Astarte, whose celebratory festival was called “Eastros”); was called “God the Father” and “God the Son”; crucified to save mankind and then resurrected.

•Horus (1550 BC): Virgin birth (by Isis); received gifts and blessings from three kings; life was threatened by Herut as an infant; crucified on cross; descended into Hell; resurrected three days later

•Krishna (1200 BC): Virgin birth (Devake); birth was heralded by a bright star; King Kansa tried to kill the savior by ordering the death of all male children; was visited by three Wise Men; was crucified

•Indra (725 BC): Virgin birth; walked on water; crucified

•Buddah (circa 400 BC): Virgin birth (Maya); performed miracles; crucified, sent to Hades, and resurrected three days later.

•Attis (200 BC): Virgin birth (Nana); Hanged on tree as atonement for sins; resurrected; his followers celebrated his resurrection by having parades in which they carried small decorated trees and exchanged gifts.




EASTER



//////////////////








Hi every body.


Got stuff like 8 oz. Pico de Gallo, and guacamole.

Now I got home with tangerines and bananas, blueberries and avocado.

I have been glued to the tv. I watched the best movies.

This one called the CarpetBaggers, a classic, was so good.

Watch this trailer.   Rina played by Carroll Baker, reminds me of someone, its eerie.
I am too afraid to admit who.

I also watched Cat on a Hot TinRoof. What a crazy movie, insane.
They made hate,alchoholism and insanity look so attractive

I also saw "Some Like it Hot".
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LY6t1dmFk7M
Very funny. Sugar cane should be my name.  I drink enough of it!
 
Marilyn Monroe, She makes me so happy. She was an alcoholic too, in the film (and in real life).

All the Sweet Sues in the movie, her bandmates, were drunks too, mixed manhattans and drank bourbons.
 
Sugar Cane kept a flask in her garter.



I also watched Keeping up with the Kardashians, I like Kim.

I also saw MY FAVE GIRLS EVER the GIRLS NEXT DOOR. I loved LOVE LOVE them. I used to like Holly. Now I am Bridget's!
She is just so cute and exudes innocence, laughter, joy, fun and beauty. And she has a Masters Degree.
There is nothing wrong there.


Someone told me today I remind them of Pam Anderson.   I like Jessica Rabbit better.






24th

I am happy today, nothing to be unhappy about.


My coworker is weird today. Her boyfriend threw her and her daughter out, last week, and she keeps texting him and  calling ever day. He is not a winner or anything, I told her to stop doing that and she gives me this insane crazy look. Desperation, mental illnesss.

She texted him every day and then finally said, " Fuck you I am not texting you anymore" and then he texted back, " USE YOUR HEAD" and she asked me several times, " What does USE YOUR HEAD mean?". I said it means to think and she asked me again later. Like Crazy like, " What exactly does that mean, "USE your head?" She is literally hanging on to those three words as something, a clue or a profound profound hidden message.
She cried and said he was out with his friends ( while she is so depressed) the other night. I told her that is what she should be doing, distracting herself. I asked her about her daughter she said was good, yeah right, She lies so much to everyone around her, who knows when she tells me them to me.

She is also very paranoid, I think she is taking Xanaxes again. She goes on Myspace and checks her emails every five minutes for one if his emails.. She thinks she hears our boss when he isnt there and also  thinks she is going to get fired. She told me to get away from her because if the boss saw I was standing in the hall talking to her, he would fire her. That would never ever happen. She is a paralegal and when paychecks came, she asks me if I think our boss will be mad if she goes and gets it from him, and if I could grab hers while I am in his office. Weird. " Am I going to lose my job?" she is always calling my phone and asking. Poor girl. She has streaks of blonde in her hair today. I watched her pour coffee. Everything is black around her. She is going to crack down. How can you screw up a nice home for your little girl? If she can screw that up she can screw her job up too.
I gave up trying to help her. I called her all this weekend to see if she needed a place to stay, to talk, or help. She ignored me. Looks like she is drowning.

The weather is cloudy today. I have many things to do. I brought bananas and blueberries to work and drank a power size OJ.

I LOVE YOU TREMENDOUSLY, EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU IS PERFECT, IDEAL, THE BEST AND WINNER. YOU ARE PERFECTION INCARNATE AND ARE WORSHIPPED ADORED AND HAVE ENORMOUS POWER. YOU CHANGE THE EARTH AND CHANGE THE FUTURE. YOU ARE MAGNETISM, YOU ARE SEX, YOU ARE LIFE GIVING FORCE THE WHOLE UNIVERSE GRAVITATES TOWARDS. YOU ARE HUMAN, YOU DID THIS AND ATTAINED ALL OF IT.

"I SAW TIGER MAKE A BIRDIE AT 17TH HOLE" SOMEONE IS BRAGGING ABOUT IN THE KITCHEN. I WISH I COULD GO PLACES LIKE GOLF TOURNAMENTS. IN MARTHA'S VINEYARD, ONCE, TIGER WAS WITH BILL CLINTON, BUT I COULD NOT SEE PAST ALL THE PEOPLE. That would be a great place to go vacation, MV is so nice what is that island, Chappaquittick? With all of it is sand dunes, the whole island. Its so pretty. I would love to go and just walk around all day, go bicycling.

THERE IS SOMETHING IN ME THAT IS BIG, BIG BIG BIG.I FEEL IT IS THIS LARGE THING, THIS POWER I HAVE THAT I HIDE. ITS ME. ITS IS JOY LOVE SEX HAPPINESS FREEDOM POWER KINDNESS. I WANT IT ALL. I DO.

I WANT TO BE HAPPY.
I WANT TO BE GREAT
I WANT TO BE BEAUTIFUL
I WANT TO SERVE THE ENTIRE WORLD WITH MY SOUL
I WANT TO SELL MY WOMANHOOD TO LIFE.

I WANT TO EVAPORATE
I WANT TO  BE A GOD while alive

I want to live my wildest dreams today



Juice fast day 1
Juice fasting day 1

118lbs today. So far it looks like it will be fresh squeezed OJ today until I get
 home and have watermelons.

guarapo juice last night. I got this email
click here:
http://www.cbsnews.com/sections/i_video/main500251.shtml?id=3960837n

I watched my movies all over again last night and was a couch potato.

Today at work I will have a productive day. I woke up late

At lunch I laid out in the hot sun in the park, I was wearing a white dress. It felt
good to feel warm on my face. It felt good.
tonight my mom is bringing me watermelons and water bottles.

32 oz OJ
32 oz OJ
32 oz OJ

so far today



BREAKDOWN

I had watermelon juice for breakfast.

I find that when I do things I do not want to do, or go against my will, or lose integrity with myself, lots of accidents, mistakes happen. Nothing runs smoothly, things planned fail and machines malfunction, things break, or fruit goes rotten. Is that weird? I can't believe I am implying that because how can doing something I do not want, affect reality? Maybe it is my view on it. It seems like they are clues, these malfunctions, that I am not on the right track and need to get off it. I only say this, because it happens repeatedly. Right track= everything works, bad choices= nothing seems to work.

Sometimes I just want to be out with friends, playing tennis, seeing a tennis game like the ones coming up, other times I just want to hide in my bedroom and watch old movies about people with problems and hot girls. So lets say I want to be withdrawn, why do I want that? Can I be myself with people? Yes and no. " Do this" , " Do that", everywhere I go people want to spend time with me, and I have to be a certain way....what if what they have to offer, in return, I do not want?

I also think that in life when we deal with others we always have to have something to trade, beauty, friendship, loyalty, work, money, product, sex, wealth, family, security or love. How cheaply are you bought, and what do you have to trade if someone has something you want? Nothing is free, only your mother loves you for free. She will love you if you are an ogre criminal. What value is that? her love? Its free in return for being born. In a way its like you are her missing arm.

Sex and beauty. Those are two very important things I want to have. Its what my ideal man always wants. Meaning I have to have them.

I want my life to be perfect, I do. I have to start choosing it. I know what it is.


27th


Last night I went to this really fancy place called La Dorada. I got a gazpacho and it was raw, not like the gazpacho at Books and Books around the corner. Blended raw, but with olive oil, chilled and salt. I had really nice waiters in suits offer me croutons with silver tongs, or pepper guy with "da pepper?", I said no, and did not eat the samples they gave me to try. No wine, just water. Lovely tablecloth and lots of wine glasses and many bottles of colored stuff. All the men working looked at me, even when I left, they stood by the windows. When I looked they looked down. Some old people came in, with their families, how nice was that?

I am going to take photographs tonight. It looks like they are setting up some sort of thing in Coral Gables, like a food and wine party, the street a few blocks away is closed off and I see many tables with tablecloth.
http://www.coralgableswineandfood.com/wineandfoodfestival/

SOmeone told me today that I live in a very upscale neighborhood. I hadn't thought of it, I guess I do. I mean, I know I do, but just not my corner, across the street is a golf course and 5 million dollar floor condos, but my place? I guess I lucked out with the market being down. I take for granted amazing things, and I am embrassed of things that make people adore me.

I should just let myself go and be who I am, I am free and mistress of my life. I am mistress. Why I am so uptight? Why am I on trial all the time with myself and my guilt, I have done what every women fantasizes about doing.
I am a true goddess of something, people say sex, but I would rather be a goddess of that than anything else.

I used to be scared of my power, and dress ugly or be ashamed, but women love to look at me as much as men, all kinds, every kind can appreciate me.


The office was raving about that show last night Moment of Truth. I love the truth, it really sets you free.

Tonight is LOST, Celebrity Apprentice and my fave show ever LIPSTICK JUNGLE. Finally a show I can love.
Last week was really funny episode, I could relate to Victory alot. What a pickle she is in.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRAMZAn4QPE


28thLast night was a beautiful night. I got paid attention to. I am appreciated , wanted and desired. I need new shoes really bad.

I have been lazy lately. All I want to do is lie in bed after work and watch movies, classics. I wish I had turner classics.

I am wearing a purple flowered dress today.

I know that I want you, I want to love you and be swimming in all of you. I want when I die to be known to have had you.

At work today I was three minutes late, and this girl who was late yesterday, gave me a hard time. Three minutes. She made up a story too, said the boss called, which he didn't, he isnt even up. She did this just to assert some sort of paranoid aggresion on me for what I do not know. I said I was in the bathroom. People, poor people. She did the same thing to the other girls. They were 5 minutes late, one said,
" Just say I was in the bathroom" and she freaked and said that the boss told her to walk around and look for everybody at 9 on the dot and she doesnt want to get in trouble if we say that is where we were. What a liar. What makes her the police?  She was late yseterday. I had always covered for her without being asked to, when she leaves every 15 minutes to call her ex boyfriend and beg for him to love her, in the hallways. I think she will get all of the other girls against her, with no help from me. She is a trainwreck. Some people are just outcasts. She is another myspace at work addict.

 I take popularity at work seriously. I always give gifts, compliments and cover for people. Anytime girls want to throw a power trip on me I permit them and follow whim of the moment orders. Sometimes I say , "Good idea!" when I dont care really.  It is noted and people are grateful later. People try to give me work advice when they dont know what they are talking about and I always say thank you.

This new girl is so cute and young, but eats so bad. One morning I saw on her desk, in a styrofoam big container of egg white scrambled eggs with meat. She ordered 2 giant cookies delivered from a restaurant because she needed sugar,  and eats steak sandwiches with cheese and onions. She has zits and a big belly, must be 170 lbs and shorter than me, but has a cute smile. She drinks milk. I was in the kitchen and I looked at another girl a lot younger than me, she looked really bad close up, dry skin, old skin, old age skin and with spots. Like liver spots. Her eyes glazed and empty. Like an old woman is pasty.

I am always getting free food, chocolates, gifts, so I give them away to the other girls. I stare at other girls skin, it look nice far away, but up close, its like leather flesh with tiny blonde hairs. sagging, wrinkled dried up.

 Suvine and Marilyn Morphed, that is funny